At 58-years-old, actress Morgan Fairchild looks way hotter than anyone her age probably should! I mean, she is one hot baby carrot... then again, "baby carrot" kind of has a bit of a youthful connotation to it... so, since Morgan is pretty old, does that make her just a "carrot"? Hmm... now that doesn't seem right either! Let's just leave it at "cougar" when describing Morgan and her aged hotness!
Either way, I know one thing is for certain, this lady is deserving of a CelebParasite.com Cougar of the Day award and that's just what I'll give her! Looking this hot and showing off this much 58-year-old cleavage truly shows just how much life truly is still burning within this cougar! So, without further adieu, Morgan, I present you with the Cougar of the Day award. Congratulations! You and your cleavage-y dress have worked hard for it, so please, enjoy what I've done for you here!
Morgan Fairchild looking hot at the "Linked Against Leukemia" gala Wednesday night:
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Paris Hilton loves her boyfriend, Benji Madden, and she wants to be with him forever! Us Magazine says:
Paris Hilton has her sights set spending "forever" with beau Benji Madden.
"We talk about [marriage]. I'm so happy. I'm so in love. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with Benji, my boyfriend," the 27-year-old heiress told David Letterman (watch above).
"I know I want to be with him forever," she added. "If you saw us together, you'd understand.""
See, I have no problem with an idiot and a weirdo rocker getting married... they can go ahead and do whatever they want with their lives. It's when I think about what their children will be like that I start getting a little upset. For some reason I just picture a kid coming out of Paris Hilton's battered womb with the face of some sort of undomesticated bird (just like its mommy) with random, meaningless, ugly tattoos all over its body at birth.
Just think of the kind of life this kid is going to have to deal with once it's brought into the world. It won't stand a chance looking like that. It will be like some sort of evil creature that came into the world with no purpose other than to terrorize all of Hollywood. Then again, maybe this whole Paris Hilton/Benji Madden union thing isn't such a bad thing after all!
Paris out promoting her new hair extension line (yes you read that right) in New York yesterday:
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Ashlee Simpson called Britney Spears "trashy"! OK! Magazine reports:
Britney Spears is "trashy," Ashlee Simpson says.
Whether it was a Freudian slip or not, the newly engaged songstress definitely let her opinion of the recovering mother of two be known during a visit across the pond this week.
Appearing on the Nokia Green Room with fiance Pete Wentz, Ashlee recalled fielding a question about "having too many Britney Spears" (yes, the Britster is a slang term now).
"In an interview the other day, they asked me what I thought, 'You've had one too many Britney Spears' means," Ashlee says. "I was like, 'What?' And they said it means you've had one too many beers."
Without missing a beat, "I was like, 'Oh, you've had one too many trashy girls!""
Ohhh snap! Did Ashlee just call Britney "trashy"!? I think she did. Ohh, no, those are fightin' words right there! I don't know if that would be a good fight though if Britney and Ashlee went at it. Ashlee would be at a severe disadvantage... she's what... maybe 100 pounds lighter than Britney. One forearm shiver to Ashlee's face by Britney would be like getting hit by a Mack truck with all that weight behind it.
Then again, maybe Ashlee will just start singing really loudly as Britney attacked and the horrible, grotesque screeching sounds coming out of Ashlee's throat would scare Britney off and have her running to the nearest trailer park for comfort! Ahh, now that I think of it, I don't know if any good could come out of this on either end!
Ashlee out at the Bravo Supershow with fiance Pete Wentz last weekend:
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Hugh Hefner wants Miley Cyrus to pose for Playboy when she becomes of legal age! Us Magazine reports:
Playboy editor Hugh Hefner says Miley Cyrus will be "welcomed in the magazine" when she's of legal age.
Hefner, 82, told Extra that the 15-year-old Hannah Montana star is a "very pretty lady.""
And, as for those topless Vanity Fair photos that were such a big deal just a couple of weeks ago, this is what Hugh had to say:
"I think to make such a big to do over something as innocent as those photos, I think is a reflection on how schizophrenic America is about sexuality," Hefner told Extra."
So, there you have it, Hugh Hefner likes pretty little 15-year-old girls and thinks the American public is schizophrenic about sexuality! You know, when you put it that way, it kind of sounds like a bad thing... but you know what, I'm with Hef on this one (and pretty much everything else he's ever said in life)... everyone made a big deal out of nothing with Miley's little photoshoot there and, when the time comes and she is of legal age, if Miley wants to make the choice to pose for Playboy, she should. The human body is a beautiful thing... well, the female human body. I don't know why, but when I think of a naked male body, I picture Austin Powers with all that body hair... and that's not so beautiful!
But, honestly, posing for Playboy later in Miley's life would be a huge thing, and it would be great for her career in terms of publicity. Frankly, I think Hayden Panettiere should have done it the day she turned 18. Right up until then she was all over the internet for being the cutest little young star... now, has anyone heard anything about her even in the past few months? Nope. But hey, Hayden, it's never too late, sweetheart! Think about it!
Miley looking cute out and about a couple of weeks ago:
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Despite her insane wealth, Sarah Jessica Parker forces her child to wear hand-me-down clothes! Us Magazine says:
Sarah Jessica Parker: fashionista. Her son? Not so much.
"[James Wilkie, 5,] only wears hand-me-downs because I’ve got all these older nephews,” Parker, 43, says in the newest issue of Parade magazine.
“That’s the God’s honest truth," swears the Sex and the City star. "Plus, my mother saved all my brothers’ clothes. I am not kidding. I don’t think I’ve ever bought him any clothes. Maybe a new winter's coat…."
But just like her footwear obsessed SATC character Carrie Bradshaw, James Wilkie gets new shoes!
"I do buy him shoes, because everybody's feet are different," says Parker.
Parker grew up as one of eight siblings in an impoverished family, and doesn't want her son to be spoiled."
Someone should tell SJP that there's a difference between not spoiling your children and just being plain cheap! Buy the kid some clothes! You make what? Tens of millions a year and your kid's walking around with t-shirts with holes in them handed down from cousin Bobby? Are you serious!? This kid's only going to resent Jessica when he gets older.
Hell, if I were that kid, I wouldn't listen to this "not getting spoiled" bull... I would take care of myself real good, whether she liked it or not. Even as a young lad, I'd be getting nothing but the best. I'd want pure elegance in my life so I would go online and order the best caviar I could find and have it flown in straight from the black sea... I would have Alaskan crabs delivered to me at least once a week in a big octupus ice sculpture... and I would rent a small orchestral quartet to fill my room with the sweet melodies of Mozart and Chopin as I sip red champagne and entertain the seven $10,000 beautiful escort ladies in my foyer Eliot Spitzer style as I wow them with my somewhat intimidating yet somehow charming intellectual abilities. See, that's living the celebrity life, Sarah Jessica... none of this hand-me-down crap... you should be ashamed of yourself!
Sarah looking like the pretty little pony that she is at a taping for some show last month:
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It's official, Jessica Simpson will be the maid of honor at little Ashlee's shotgun wedding! People Magazine reports:
While her little sister's wedding plans remain shrouded in secrecy, Jessica Simpson revealed one detail: She's the maid of honor!
"Of course," the 27-year-old told PEOPLE when asked if she'll be standing next to Ashlee on her big day.
Performing in front of nearly 35,000 people at Camp Pendleton Thursday night, Jessica was in fine form for the troops, belting out "These Boots Are Made For Walkin' " at a three-hour concert that also featured Snoop Dogg, Janet Jackson, Ne-Yo, and Pamela Anderson. Taking the stage in a skin-tight red top, jeans and black stiletto heels, Jessica was greeted by howls and hoorahs.
Little sister Ashlee, 23, and fiancé Pete Wentz (of Fall Out Boy fame) have kept mum on their wedding plans – and her pregnancy."
That's sweet... I bet Ashlee is pretty ticked off though. I mean, think about it, the whole world knows that the only reason Ashlee is famous is because of her smokin' hot celebrity sister. Now, at the wedding, all the guests are going to be elbowing each other saying "Isn't she beautiful?" and the response will always be "Yea she is!.. Wait, who are you talking about? The bride? Eh, she kind of looks like a pterodactyl... but that Jessica standing right next to her up there... she is one fine piece of ACE!!!"
Sure, it's a little bit terrible to steal her little sister's thunder on her big day like that... but hey, maybe she should have thought of the social repurcusions BEFORE she decided to get knocked up and have a shotgun wedding. Ahh, what's the big deal though? It's not like Ashlee's not used to it, just one more day of living in the big, vast shadow casted by her sister's breasts! ZING!
Here's Jessica in a photoshoot from back in the day to prove just how much uglier she's going to make her poor little sister look when she's the maid of honor at her wedding:
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