Kristin Cavallari

The latest news and gossip involving celebrity Kristin Cavallari.

Kristin Has a Dirty Mouth

I know that look, Kristin. That is the look of an f-bomb about to be wildly slung at some stalker exposing themselves across the street. And I just won\'t stand for this kind of dirty-mindedness! So what if I feel that I have the right to expose myself in your honor? So what? She is such a pervert but she can\'t even take a little public genitalia. She forgot to wear pants with this outfit ... [Full Story]

No Means No, Kristin

Surely wearing slutty black dresses two days in a row is a pathetic attempt to get my attention. But no means no, Kristin. The days of me sitting outside of your nail salon, getting high on toluene and sniffing your toe separators are over. You have to be strong. Or the dresses are just possibly a result of it now being March. As they say, Spring (and the tent in my pants) has sprung. I ... [Full Story]

Kristin Looks Lost

Poor little Kristin Cavallari looks so lost without me. Look at her standing there in her ridiculously huge Ray Ban glasses, texting her douchebag friends for help. Obviously she needs a real man in her life - one who knows what to do in a crisis such as a flat tire or not being able to flip a sunny side egg properly. And I\'m that man. I\'d totally call AAA for her. Maybe hold her hand for a ... [Full Story]

Kristin Cavallari Has a Bag of Goodies

Here is Kristin Cavallari parading about town without wearing any semblance of pants. I can\'t tell if she is out for a jog, trying to look sexy, or just forgot to put on some jeans. And look! She has goodies! As Kristin was out and about, not only did she grab herself a latte at a coffee shop, but she apparently bought the whole bakery. Mmm, those donuts that she will ultimately purge ... [Full Story]

See, Kristin Cavallari Does Have Talent

Next time you find yourself bitter because the girls on The Hills are rich for doing pretty much nothing, remember these pictures. Here\'s Kristin Cavallari getting out of a car, holding multiple Starbucks drinks, talking on the phone, and holding some kind of white paper. That\'s not easy, it took her 3 months of practice to master this. ... [Full Story]

Kristin Cavallari is Pretty in Pink

Here\'s Kristin Cavallari at the premiere of When in Rome, some movie with Kristen Bell and Fergie\'s boyfriend/husband. Yeah, I really don\'t know anything about celebrities or movies. Who gave me this job? ... [Full Story]

Kristin Cavallari is Getting Wet

This end of times rain that Los Angeles is getting really needs to come to an end so girls like Kristin Cavallari can go back to wearing bikinis. Yesterday, she was caught in a downpour, at least by LA\'s standards, without an umbrella because there\'s no reason anyone there would own an umbrella. But then it seems some pervert came to her rescue judging by the pictures below. Check it out. ... [Full Story]

Kristin Cavallari Out in Jean Shorts

I thought only I still wore jean shorts, but Kristin Cavallari proves me wrong by sporting a pair while running some errands yesterday. I personally like to take an old pair of jeans and just cut them at the knees with scissors. So much more comfortable in the Summer plus they make a great pair of swimming trunks. ... [Full Story]

Kristin Cavallari Turns 23

Kristin Cavallari turned 23 years old yesterday or, in pervert age, she\'s 5 years legal, yay! But anyway, she had her party at the Eve nightclub in Las Vegas. I didn\'t get invited, so I can only assume the invitation was lost in the mail. It happens. ... [Full Story]

Kristin Cavallari for the Weekend

The more I see Kristin Cavallari, the more I love her. It should, however, be noted that I\'ve never watched The Hills and never will, so my opinion is based purely on her attractiveness. I\'m confident she\'s a flaming retard on TV, which is why I think I\'ll continue to avoid watching it. Wouldn\'t want to mess up my fantasies. Anyway, have a great weekend. I\'m off to build a deformed snowman ... [Full Story]

Kristin Cavallari is a Little Bit Ridiculous

It\'s times like this that I\'m happy to be a guy and just feel bad for normal girls. Of course I\'ll get angry emails telling me I\'m the sole reason for anorexia and low self-esteem, but at least that makes me the reason for something. Anyway, here\'s Kristin Cavallari at a bikini photo shoot, looking way better than any girl I know...which is why I feel bad for them and their asymmetrical eyes ... [Full Story]

Kristin Cavallari Leaving the Gym for the Weekend

Kristin Cavallari was spotted leaving the gym yesterday after an intense workout involving lifting 3 pound dumbbells 4 times each. It\'s tough work being Kristin, so she went home and let a camera crew film her living her life in exchange for millions of dollars. Now that\'s a hard life, so I\'m going to go be thankful that my parents have a finished basement with plumbing because if they ... [Full Story]