Okay, I don't really have any real news to report about Christina Aguilera right now... other than the fact that she's about to spontaneously burst at any moment now. Seriously, have you ever seen a tinier girl blow up this much just because she's got a little human growing in her tummy? And by "little human", I clearly mean that she's got bigfoot developing in her womb as we speak. Plus, considering what her husband, the always handsome and hairy, Jordan Bratman, looks like... I wouldn't be surprised if she does give birth to an infant Sasquash.
I mean, seriously, I don't know how Christina can even walk at this point. She must have like super-human woman strength or something. On second thought, she kind of reminds me of this math teacher I once had. I mean, she wasn't exactly "fat". She was just massive. Like all around. She was a real strong woman, with a deep voice and large hands. I wouldn't mess with that lady... and the once cute and thin and sexy has now developed into my 5th grade math teacher in one little pregnancy. It's pretty unbelievable. But, at the same time, it's pretty impressive. In fact, I'm not even mad. I'm just in awe! Seriously, check this is out. The contractions Christina's gonna have when she's giving birth to this kid is definitely going to cause an earthquake wherever she has the baby! So, consider this a warning to all obstetrics and gynecology wards in all hospitals across America!
Here's Christina out to dinner with her husband this weekend:
