Kirstie Alley Is As Crazy As Tom Cruise!

Apparently, Kirstie Alley is a crazy Scientologist fanatic just like Tom Cruise. I always knew she was into the whole Scientology thing, but I didn't know she was as crazy about it as she really is. She's just like Tom... only with breasts and a fat ass. Specifically, The New York Post's Page Six reports:

Umm... yea, Kirstie, I was thinking the same thing. Umm, does anyone else think it's horribly creepy to hear Kirstie talk about "mankind" as though it's some foreign concept that she's completely unfamiliar with? Which leads to the next question... has Kirstie finally revealed what makes her so crazy: she's some sort of alien from outer space!? I always thought there was something a little odd about her that got me a little suspicious... I mean, what human can be on Jenny Craig for 20-years and still be fat!?!? ZING!

Isn't this Scientologist stuff getting a little out of hand. I'm getting worried. Think about it, if this keeps up, in about 5-10 years from now, all the Scientologists are probably going to move into a big compound in Waco, Texas, and Tom Cruise is going to sit on a really big thrown (to create the illusion that he's taller than he really is) and he's going to set a date to simultaneously drink "the magic Kool-Aid". Then, when that day comes, Tom's going to literally drink Kool-Aid while everyone else drinks the poison, and then he will laugh an evil, sinister laugh, proving that as a tiny man, he wields great power! Yea, I could see it happen. I don't know if Kirstie will drink the poisonous drink though... Tom will have to probably have to find the poison in pill-form and slip it in one of Kirstie's Jenny Craig dinners... you know, like when you have to give dogs medicine... you slip it in their food, and unbeknownst to them, they eat it! It's sort of like that!