In early January, it was announced that Paris Hilton was named Harvard University's Harvard Lampoon Magazine's Woman of the Year, so, yesterday, Paris was in Boston to receive her prestigious award!
I still can't believe this. I mean, this must be some sort of joke. I don't think Paris should be named "Woman of the Year" by any organization, nevermind something that is backed by one of the most prestigious universities in our country. I bet the rest of the world is laughing at us. I bet, right now, somewhere in the Middle East, a group of fat men with mustaches are smoking cigarettes and laughing together in unison saying "HA HA HA! Paris Hilton honored by Harvard!? And these Americans say they have the best education in the world! So what if we don't have running water in our schools, we would never honor Paris Hilton for anything!". I hate to say it, but they may have a point. This just doesn't look good. But, there must be a reason for it!
In fact, I have a theory, what happened was... Harvard named both a candidate for Woman of the Year and conducted a test on STDs in the same day. In that STD study, the woman with the most STDs who topped the list of the study was Paris Hilton and the Woman of the Year was some nun who spent the past year doing charity work in South Africa. However, by some absolute fluke, the names got switched and Paris was announced as the Woman of the Year! Pretty soon, there's going to be a nun showing up at Harvard hoping to get some sort of ethical award... and she's just going to get an Intro to Biology course filled with kids hoping to see Paris Hilton and ask her about her various sexual escapades... needless to say, that poor, ethical nun is in for a surprise!
