Jessica Simpson's new movie, "Blonde Ambition," tanked horribly in the United States but it is finding great success in... The Ukraine!?!?! People Magazine says:
It's a huge reversal of fortune for the film, which bombed back home. In December, Blonde Ambition had a run in eight Texas theaters, grossing just $1,771 in its opening weekend.
How to explain the comedy's success abroad? One word: escapism.
"The former Soviet nations have a sweet tooth for straight-up comedies," Conor Bresnan, editor in chief of Box Office Mojo International, tells PEOPLE. "When these comedies have big name celebrities like Jessica Simpson's, that's all that's needed to sell the movie. Russian and Ukrainian audiences have an even bigger urge for escapism than Americans. So, films like Blonde Ambition will gross more than No Country for Old Men."
I can picture it now... a group of Ukrainians are sitting around in their fur hats, drinking vodka and playing poker with a boxing match on in the background of a smoky room when one of them says "there must be another form of fun around here... but I'm not sure what! Ahh, I've got it! The new Jessica Simpson movie is in the town! Lets go to it and enjoy the bubbly blonde stupidity of busty Jessica!" Then, another man says "Boris! That's more brilliant than Rasputin! Please, let's go to see the Jessica!" And then they laugh in unison to express their joy with a brief "Haaagh Haaaagh Haaaagh Haaaaagh!!!" (that's how their laughs sound over there).
This goes on for a bit until another man slams his fist onto to the table and says "Fools! We cannot support the Western economy like this unless you've got a better reason to go see Jessica Simpson than solely for an escape from our cold, difficult lives filled with hardship!" Then, the group looks at each other in blank stares until one of them breaks the intense silence with this sudden exclamation: "Boobies!?"... then, after a brief stare, they all look at each other and erupt in booming laughter... "Haaaaagh Haaaaagh Haaaaagh Haaaaagh! Yes boobies! Big American boobies!!!" and then they all walk off into the sunset toward their nearest cinema! Ahh, such a beautiful story!
In the end, I guess there is hope for a career for Jessica Simpson on the big-screen... the only problem is... she might have to move to the former Soviet Union to get the recognition she deserves! After all, I guess it always takes a little sacrifice before you can enjoy success!
