Okay, wait a minute, why didn't anyone tell me that Rihanna and Chris Brown are an item? As far as I know, there's no real documentation out there at the moment that confirms that they are indeed a couple, but they look awfully close together in these pictures of them vacationing together in Jamaica! What a lucky little dog that Chris Brown is... he's basically just a cocky kid with killer dance moves (no big deal, I know) and he may or may not be getting it on with the umbrella chick. I can't believe this! What's a guy like me gotta do to score a hot R&B chick like Rihanna?
Wait, I know! I'll dress up in a one-piece leather suit (with matching gloves) and find Rihanna and make a little dance for her while doing little Michael Jackson pelvic-thrusts and screaming "Mamma say mamma sa ma ma cu sa!" at the top of my lungs! Yea, that will win her over. I hope you're ready for this, Mr. Chris Brown... because if it comes down to it... there's gonna be a dance-off kid, me and you, Mano e Mano!!! And, honestly, if I were you, Chris, I wouldn't want none of this... because you's about to get served! Chump! Sorry? Too much with the dance-culture lingo? Yea, I have a tendency to go over-board... but you get the idea!
