Us Magazine reports that John Mayer has written a letter to one of his former lovers, begging her to leave him alone because he simply doesn't want her in his life! Specifically, his message reads:
Dear Ex Lover,
Perhaps you didn't understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I'll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore. I don't know how much more clear I can be about it. It would serve you best to move on with your life and find someone who can put up with you, because I'm done trying.
I hope this is enough closure for you.
Goodbye.
P.S. If you need me, you know how to find me."
Us Magazine then went on to wonder which past love of John's he may have been addressing with this tough-to-swallow letter and they narrowed it down to Jessica Simpson, Cameron Diaz, Minka Kelly, or Jennifer Love Hewitt, all of whom John has been previously romantically linked to at some point. It was a this moment that I realized I'm doing something terribly wrong in the female department!
I mean, I'm an absolute stud. Seriously. And this guy's going around being somewhat good-looking in a strange, Edward Scissorhands type way... but he's scoring some of the hottest chicks in Hollywood while I'm consistently taking home 40+ single moms who reek of whisky and Parliament cigarettes and may or may not be missing an incisor or two...
It must be his talent they're attracted to... Yea, I seriously should have taken those guitar lessons back when I was in 3rd grade... but no, my mother wanted me to take those Karate classes instead... a lot of good that did me!? What am I gonna do, Kung-fu chop a chick in the back of the head to get her to go home with me!? On second thought... there is always that!!! Okay, okay, relax!!! I'm kidding!.. maybe!
John and one of his aforementioned ex-lovers, Minka Kelly (could it be her he's writing to!?!?), at a basketball game a few months ago:
