Paris Hilton's 18-year-old little brother Barron pleased no contest to a DUI charge that came when he was arrested on February 12th of this year. Specifically, People Magazine reports:
Barron, 18, also pleaded no contest to having a fake ID. A second DUI count and a charge of being an unlicensed driver were dropped, the Los Angeles District Attorney's Office confirms.
Barron was also sentenced to two alcohol education classes and had his license suspended for a year. He's due back in court on June 4 for a restitution hearing for the gas station employee's car he allegedly hit."
Ahh, there you go... nothing quite like pleading no contest to DUI charges. You always get the coolest stuff when you do that... like a suspended license, pain-in-the-behind alcohol education classes (sometimes two if you're as cool as Barron), and most importantly, a few free trips to the morgue. It's that last one that really gets me all hot! I mean, what better way to evoke regret and remorse in a young man who likes to get drunk and play slalom with on-coming vehicles than by showing him real-life dead people right in front of his face.
I don't know why, but I picture Barron going into the morgue, and there's this strange man wearing a black trench coat, a black top hat, and one of those creepy Phantom of the Opera masks who comes up to him and says in a soft, creepy voice: "Hello, Barron... I've been waiting for you." And then he takes him back in time and shows him all of the bad things he's done even in his short 18-year-old life and tries to convince him that it's better to care for others rather than potentially harm them... you know, like it's a creepier version of Dickens' "A Christmas Carol".
And, you know what, such gut-wrenching truths may actually get through to young Barron... until he gets a bit older and he realizes that the whole "being a good person" thing is cool until it starts getting in the way of his coke habit. Then, unfortunately, it's just the same slippery slope all over again. But hey, maybe he could change... but when it comes to stuff like this, I have a feeling that changing for the better just "isn't the Hilton way"!
