George Clooney is a handsome man who regularly switches up his overly attractive female friends. We know this. ... which is why it's completely ludicrous when anyone suggests that he is gay (not that there is anything wrong with that). He tends to be liberal, though, so I suppose some people might associate "liberal" with "closet gay?" (If you watch "Glee," then you think everyone is gay.) The Advocate reports:

The gay rumor has followed you for years.
I think it's funny, but the last thing you'll ever see me do is jump up and down, saying, "These are lies!" That would be unfair and unkind to my good friends in the gay community. I'm not going to let anyone make it seem like being gay is a bad thing. My private life is private, and I'm very happy in it. Who does it hurt if someone thinks I'm gay? I'll be long dead and there will still be people who say I was gay. I don't give a sh*t.

I knew there was a reason why I had a man crush on George. ... ... and now I kind of hope he IS gay.

Helena Bonham Carter, eccentric actress and wife of Tim Burton, was recently seen in London picking up her son Billy from school. It's hard to believe that this child with non-insane hair is the spawn of Helena and Tim. However, to make up for the lack of Crazy Afro, he made sure to wear pants that were far too short and velcro shoes. Fight the good fight, Billy!

At some point someone (preferably a psychologist) needs to pull the Burton family aside and let them know that looking like homeless people doesn't make them unique. It makes them seem like they smell. Even if they don't.

Linsday Lohan is letting all of this non-negative press go to her head. First, she was let out of jail. Then, she forced her way into hosting "Saturday Night Live." Now? She has her eyes on an Oscar invite. Someone might need to let this girl down gently (or crush her hopes, whatever). She sat down with Matt Lauer on the "Today" show to talk about her "comeback:" (Snigger.)

Lohan explained, "I regret the choices that I've made ... but I'm grateful for where I am today because of them, because ... I don't need to see any more negative stuff, I don't need to put myself in those places anymore."

Lindsay also talked about her time at the morgue -- telling Matt it's been a positive learning experience that's helping her in the long run.

When asked where she'll be in 5 years, Lohan said, "Hopefully I'll have just come from the Oscars this past weekend."

Too bad the "Today" show doesn't have a live band, or else a rimshot would have followed that last line.

Jaime Pressly and her son Dezi were seen playing in a park recently and it made me realize a few things. 1.) I am a huge pervert for being extra attracted to Jaime just because she is a mother 2.) Dezi is an absurdly stupid name 3.) Jaime needs to consider being my wife. Or mother. (Don't read into that.)

Hey, remember when Chris Brown punched Rihanna repeatedly in the face really freaking hard? And then photos of her puffy, abused face surfaced? Yeah, that wasn't that long ago. So a fan of Rihanna's went on twitter and posted this after hearing Rihanna and Chris Brown were going to be working together:

"I gotta admit, I lost a lot of respect for @rihanna.. Makin a song w/ the dude that beat your face off is not a good look."

To no one's surprise, Rihanna responded with this:

"neither is your avi #clapback"

In case you didn't watch what Rihanna meant, she called the girl fat just for speaking up against her getting back with Chris Brown. And honestly, the girl was just saying what the rest of us were thinking about Rihanna. (Don't worry girl, pictures of Rihanna with a brand new black eye are bound to surface soon.)

Davy Jones, the lead singer of The Monkees, died after having a heart attack this morning. He joined The Monkees in 1965 along with Micky Dolenz, Michael Nesmith and Peter Tork. So now every time you hear "I'm a Believer," just be a little sad. Because now the happy man singing that song is dead. (I'm having an off day. Two hot celebrity galleries coming up.)

Katy Perry is newly single. Not only is she recently single, but she was just recently married. So shacking up with someone else is probably the last thing on her mind. So it's no surprise that Rihanna, she of little brain functioning, suggested that she will find Katy Perry a new man. Hollywood Life reports:

"Katy has been very upset about the divorce," a source tells us. "She never expected it to end and now she's dealing with the aftermath. But her friends are telling her to get back out there and date. They don't want her to waste time being upset over Russell."

"Rihanna wants to help Katy in any way she can," an insider says. "She is telling her that she'll start setting her up too!"

One thing people need to understand is this: if a person is grieving, let them drown in liquor for a solid 3-4 months. Getting back up on the horse is the last thing you want to do if that metaphorical horse just collapsed your chest in with its hooves of fury and terror. So Katy Perry, listen to me, the smallest voice on the internet: don't let Rihanna hook you up with any of her woman-beating friends. Be your own person and cry every night over the last 10 minutes of "Moulin Rouge" if you want to. It's your God given right to do so.