So, yea, Jessica Simpson's a drunk. Shocking. Yes. True? Also yes (well, at least according to Star Magazine she is)! Specifically, Star says:
Ashlee Simpson's big sis was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in L.A. on March 28 and remained there for four days. Reps for the singer said she was being treated for a "kidney infection," but an insider tells Star it was more than that. Jessica's health problems were "brought on by drinking an obscene amount of alcohol," says the source. "She was treated for a kidney infection, a bladder infection and a urinary tract infection."
Adding to her distress, anxious Jessica asked doctors to give her a pregnancy test! "She was a nervous wreck," says the insider. "She was three weeks late and convinced she was pregnant. She was feeling really weak and really scared. She was unraveling."
Since her divorce from Nick Lachey in 2006, Jessica has dated a string of men, including musician John Mayer. But after hooking up with Dallas Cowboys hunk Tony in November, insiders say her partying and drinking are out of control."
So Jessica Simpson's a drunk. I blame Nick Lachey. You know, they have that crazy divorce after televising their lives together on "Newlyweds"... then after Nick's little boy-band heart crumbled, a little Filipina chick by the name of Vanessa Minnilo comes along and sweeps up the pieces of his heart as if by a dustpan and metaphorically super-glued them back together... all while Jessica was sitting there alone, pouting, wondering why no one loved her. Then, seeing Nick move on so quickly and naturally, Jessica fell into a deep depression which led her on a downward spiral of hooking up with a bunch of famous dudes and drinking the whole bar whenever she goes out.
Now, she Jessica's settled for binge drinking with her "choke-show" football quarterback boyfriend, Tony Romo, and his big dumb idiot friends. Nice! I can see an E! True Hollywood story coming up for Jessica... "Jessica Simpson: Just when you thought Ashlee was the ugly one, you caught a glimpse of Jessica's rotted soul!" That's pretty rough. But hey, that's what the drink does to you... not me though, that stuff is like liquid courage for me. Forget Gatorade... it's vodka that rejuvenates me for the "game"... and of course, there, I'm referring to the GAME OF LIFE! BABBBYYYY!
Here's some older pics of Jessica being smoking hot in a tight pink dress... they're a little bit old, but I figured, hey, why not show the people what Jessica used to be. You know, before she became an out-of-control drunk!
