Nicole looks cute in her booking photo...
Sorry. Thinking out loud. Anyway, TMZ reports that Nicole Richie arrived at a Lynwood, California jail at 3:15 p.m. on Thursday to serve the four-days behind bars that she was sentenced to for her second DUI.
She was released 82 minutes later at 4:37 p.m. according to the L.A. Sheriff's Department.
Released! As in she's a free skank, err, woman, again!
She is described to have been "routinely processed and released according to normal operating rules."
That's funny, I always thought that when normal people were "routinely processed" into the jail system "according to normal operating rules" they actually serve their jail sentence.
Silly me, looks like I've gotten Hollywood all confused with real-life again.
The outrage!!! But, how the hell is that legally possible? If I remember correctly, 82 minutes does not add up to 4 whole days in life.
Maybe they were going with dog time, everything's like 7 times faster that way. They must have thought that Nicole was a homeless stray coming in with a few poor defenseless pups in her tummy.
Can you blame them? I mean she does look like some sort of pregnant chihuahua... crossed with a street rat... crossed with one of those crack-addict prostitutes you always see on the Jacksonville, FL episodes of "Cops."
So, really, how is this possible?.. Well, the Sheriff's department told a source this:
Overcrowding!?!? Population Management!?!?! Dammit! You win again, Nicole... you always do...
Though, if it's any consolation, she did plead guilty to DUI charges on July 27th and agreed to serve a three-year probation term. She also has to attend an alcohol education program and was fined $2,048.
Weak.
Well, you've still got Joel Madden's sperm inside you for at least a few more months.
I guess that's enough punishment for anyone.
