Sources confirm that Owen Wilson has been hospitalized. He was admitted into the hospital yesterday in LA.
Santa Monica Police issued this statement in reference to Owen Wilson:
Sources also say that a 911 call came in at the the 11:59 a.m. on Sunday to the Los Angeles Fire Department. However, due to laws protecting a patient's medical privacy, we have not learned why Owen was transported.
Poor Owen. I guess for whatever reason, Hansel's not feeling so hot right now...
We're pulling for you though, Owen.
Ironically, Owen's former flame, Kate Hudson, was spotted with her goofball boyfriend Dax "I Can't Believe I'm Dating Kate Hudson" Shepard going at it like a couple of undomesticated jungle beasts in the supermarket on Saturday.
So let me get this straight.
Kate Hudson was getting all frisky with Dax on Saturday. Then, the following day, Owen Wilson mysteriously gets admitted into the hospital... coincidence? Maybe. Probably not.
I know that if I lost Kate Hudson to a retarded person, I would put on a nice warm bath, light up some candles, throw in some bath oils, and cut my wrists vertically.
I just hope that's not the case, Owen. I really do love you man... and it's not just because you have that hideous yet somehow endearing misshapen nose.
But, if your obsessive love antics from You, Me, and Dupree are any indication of how you deal with a broken heart in real-life, I assume the worst. I hope I'm wrong, bro... I hope I'm wrong.
Unfortunately, some tabloids are reporting that Wilson did try to kill himself. Some sources tell the magazines he cut his wrists and took a number of pills. He was then allegedly discovered by a family member who immediately contacted the authorities. However, none of this has been confirmed by Wilson himself or his representatives.
UPDATE: Owen Wilson has just issued the following statement:
Owen, sew that heart back together, bro. If it's time you need, my man, you got it... in the meantime, want me to go break Dax's knees?
As Scarface would probably say... You know, I would kill Dax for fun, but for you Owen, I'll carve him up real nice!
Remember, the whole kill a communist for fun, but for a green card I'll carve him up real nice? REBENGA!!! No? Nothing. Dammit. Sorry.
