Recently, Lindsay Lohan and photographer Terry Richardson got together to complete some kind of "look at how dirty Lindsay Lohan is now" photo shoot. I hope to God he was doing this in a clever way to make fun of LIndsay, because no one actually cares what the street walker is doing nowadays. Except me. But I have an excuse, I needed to use some pictures of a girl with deep cleavage.
Even though Russell Brand did not sign a pre-nup when he married Katy Perry (and he is now entitled to approximately $20 million of Katy Perry's money) he is not going to be taking any of her money. Why? Because he is a good man and when people rob each other after getting a divorce it makes me want to hurt small, fluffy things.
According to someone close to the ex-couple, "This divorce is as amicable as it gets, and Russell was a mensch (Yiddish for a good person)." People who steal other people's money after they realize that a relationship didn't work deserve to be in some lesser circle of Hell. Luckily, Russell Brand made the right choice here.
If you have been watching "The Voice," you have been thinking the very same things I have been thinking:
1.) I'm unnaturally attracted to Adam Levine.
2.) Why does Cee Lo Green rape all of the contestants?
3.) God, my life has come to this?
4.) Oh hey, Christina doesn't look that fat. Also, boobs.
But don't let Xtina fool you! Apparently, she is as ... voluptuous ... as ever. (I.e, she is fat.) Not only is she still packing away the pounds, but she is also demanding that the camera crew of "The Voice" should make her look skinny. I'm not sure if she knows that they aren't magicians.
"Christina holds up production with her constant demands, saying, 'Don't make me look fat' or 'Don't show my butt,' " a source tells the Enquirer.
"She's insisted the cameramen only shoot her at flattering angles, forcing a few segments to be reshot. She also demands that the stylists bring her the latest slimming fashions, and she's always ordering the makeup artists to make her face look thinner."
You know what, I'm not sure I can blame her. I wear triple Spanx underneath a layer of Under armor when I go speed walking at the track. You have to fool someone into thinking you're good looking, right?
... and there was much rejoicing!
It's not that Paz de la Huerta was an awful actress. In fact, she showed her naked body so much on "Boardwalk Empire," I'm willing to say that she was quite the amazing performer. However, her character made us almost see Steve Buscemi naked and that would have just been unforgivable. It's good they got her out of the way now, I would hate to see her come back in Season 3 for a naked Nucky booty call. We literally might not survive that.
TVLine has learned exclusively that the HBO mob hit has opted not to pick up the actress' Season 3 contract option, which means viewers have likely seen the last of her character, Lucy Danziger.
Introduced in Season 1 as Nucky's (Steve Buscemi) unhinged mistress, Lucy spent much of Season 2 pregnant and shacked up with Michael Shannon's Van Alden (the baby daddy). Shortly after giving birth, she went on a formula run and never returned, leaving the baby in Van Alden’s care.
An HBO rep declined to comment for this story.
We haven't seen the last of Paz, though! Don't forget that she has a penchant for drunkenly fighting innocent passers by in Hollywood. Let's hope she doesn't take this news very well.
Most days, life feels like a chore. Jobs suck, relationships are a joke and getting out of bed just seems like a generally bad idea. That's why, on those types of hard days, you just need to take a deep breath and look at pretty people. Minka Kelly, sure she lives in Beverly Hills and wants nothing to do with you... but that doesn't make her any less angelic. So relax and just stare. It's what I'm going to do for the next 10-15 minutes.
Oh. My honest mistake. It's just Madonna. Not the undead.
Oh God is this Superbowl going to be gnarly (if gnarly means that we are just going to stare at Madonna's, gnarled, tree-like arms during half time while doing our best not to puke in our mouths). Not only do I hate both the Patriots and the Giants, but the half time show is going to be horrible. Like always.
She recently talked to the media about the show:
She told reporters at a press conference in Indianapolis, "This is a Midwesterner girl's dream."
One minor setback? A strained hamstring. But the 53-year-old insists she's as battle-ready as any player on the Patriots or the Giants thanks to "lots of warm-ups and taping and ultrasound."
"I feel like one of the football players now," she said. "Mind over matter."
I agree. She IS just like a football player, considering she could suffocate a grown man just by flexing her biceps.
I'm not sure if this is much of a surprise, but Adam Lambert is going to spend some time with Queen soon. Queen is going to be going on tour and it's rumored that Adam Lambert is going to be the fill in for the legendary Freddie Mercury. He sang with the band when they performed "We Are The Champions" with him at the American Idol finale in 2009. It was a great performance, but hardscore queen fans have to be pretty disappointed in Freddie Mercury 2.0, even if he is flaming.
