Danielle Lloyd's Boobies Have a Special Place in My Heart

Here are some bikini candids of Danielle Lloyd being hot and enjoying herself in the south of Spain.

Who's Danielle Lloyd, you ask? She's a British lingerie model and former cast member of Britain's celebrity version of the reality show Big Brother. She's British and she has big boobs. Both of those things have a special place in my heart, for unique reasons.

Click here to read why.

You see, I have had a thing for both boobies and English women ever since that one time when I was visiting family over-seas in Europe.

Why the boobies? Well, there are topless beaches in Europe and that was the first time I saw real-life boobies. That's not a moment a young man easily forgets.

As for the love for English women... well, that's a bit more of a story.

That, too, began that when I was vacationing over in Europe as young boy. I stayed at my uncle's apartment when I still nothing more than a pre-pubescent young lad (which fails to do justice to the sex-god I am now).

For some reason, this gorgeous blonde from London was more than willing to exchange sex for a free place to stay during her "holiday" in southern Europe.

That place was my uncle's apartment.

The one in which I was staying.

Needless to say, that was right around the time the hormones started kicking in and I immediately grew obsessed with this beautiful Brit with a perfect little bum and boobies that were just begging to be cupped by a young man's hand.

Now, I know what you're thinking, and no, it didn't happen.

I was too young, and my life just generally isn't that good.

But one morning, as I was sleeping in the exposed living room, I noticed that the door to the room she was staying in was slightly open...

It was at that point that I leaned forward as much as I could for a better angle, and there it was!

Even now, I can see her golden locks in my mind's eye, and the soft, yet defined, contours of her 20-something body.

Like an angel, bound by nothing, naked and free!

That was simultaneously the single greatest moment and the single worst moment of my life.

It was a sudden rush of sexual fire straight to my loins, followed by an extreme, frustrated pain of not knowing how to release such powerful feelings (give me a break, I was like 12 at the time).

But to this day, it was the most beautiful thing these innocent little eyes (at the time) had even seen.

Ahh, my little British angel. I was just a few years too early when we crossed paths. I didn't even get your name.

One day though, we will meet again, and we shall embrace and rid ourselves of these unfulfilled desires. Well, mine anyway...

Until then, Danielle Llloyd's big British boobies are the closest thing to that one angelic love of my adolescent past.

These are more than pictures to me. These represent something deep within my soul.

Today is a good day. Thank you, Danielle Lloyd's boobies.