Alexander Skarsgard has Sex with Every Woman

Is there a woman that Alexander Skarsgard could NOT have sex with? (The answer is no.) That's why companies are finally starting to wise up and use him in campaigns geared towards women and men who want to have sex with women, as seen below. I have no idea what they are selling, but DANGIT, I want it. I'm not sure what he is doing either, aside from dry humping everything in sight... but still, I approve.

2.06.13 at 12:52 AM   

Miley Cyrus is Stuck in a Closet

And when I say closet... I mean SHE'S GAY AND AFRAID TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT. Which is stupid, by the way, because it's cooler to be gay than it is to be straight in this day and age. I got the stink-eye at my local bodega because I was holding hands with someone of the opposite sex. I support homosexuals and their decisions, but this reversal is really starting to creep me out.

2.01.13 at 03:27 PM   

Kim Kardashian is Already Showing

Internet - get ready. Kim Kardashian is going to be one of the biggest mommas you have EVER seen. She is already voluptuous as hell, so throw a baby and some hormones into the mix and you have a recipe for an (awesome?) disaster. Please, just let there be (massive) side boob!

2.01.13 at 03:23 PM   

Jennifer Lawrence has a Confusing Dress

The other night, the Internet had one, collective lust heart attack when Jennifer Lawrence walked onstage at the SAG Awards to accept her award for Best Female Actor In A Film. According to the video (and screenshots like the one above), as she walked up the stairs her dress seemed to rip and show her goodies underneath. Unfortunately, it seems dresses are more complicated than what most people think, nowadays:

First of all, this is a Christian Dior gown we're talking about here; those things don't just rip so here's what was going on.

The original gown showed clear distinctions that were connected by sheer lining. Lawrence's dress had the lining hidden, so people couldn't really tell that it was a tiered gown.

Once she was approaching the stage to get her award, the combination of her pulling up on the top part of the dress and possibly having the train stuck on a heel (or something) revealed the sheer lining in between.

So time to put down that Jergens lotion, perverts. Her dress was actually altered to seem LESS slutty. Sigh. So take advice from Lenny Kravitz in the Hunger Games Bad Lip Reading: DRANK.

1.31.13 at 03:49 PM   

A Very Anna Hutchison Conspiracy

Let me say a few words and see if you draw the same conclusion I did: Anna Hutchison. Spartacus. Cabin in the Woods. Joss Whedon. Chris Hemsworth. Thor. Robert Downey Jr. Cocaine. Money. Illuminati.

Anna Hutchison's breasts are evil. Evil and glorious. But I love them.

Buffy. (This game is fun!)

1.23.13 at 10:24 PM   

Lindsay Lohan Wants to be Poor

There's nothing wrong with making less than six figures a year, but if you're living the lifestyle Lindsay Lohan is, you better freaking attempt to make some money (which she isn't doing). She allegedly turned down over $500k for doing Dancing With the Stars. Because she doesn't want to do reality tv. Even though her life is a joke. Seriously LILO? SERIOUSLY?

But Lindsay - who still owes hundreds of thousands in back taxes - shut them down, telling friends she'd never consider doing reality TV ... she wants to stick to films.

I don't think most celebrities understand how serious not paying your taxes is. Or making decent money. Or doing things you don't really want to do.

1.23.13 at 01:18 AM   

Katy Perry Was Appropriate

The above picture was taken at The Kids Inaugural event during Obama's second inauguration... and boy howdy was it patriotic. And a little more than inappropriate. But hey, the politicians proved they don't know anything about the youth of America. 1.) Kids don't care about politics. 2.) Having Katy Perry show her tits at an event will draw attention, but not the kind you want.

1.21.13 at 10:31 PM