The whole celebrity baby phenomenon has officially gotten out of control. Yesterday, two paparazzi, dressed in camouflage, attempted to break into Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s French chateau. Security intercepted the photographers, and a massive fight broke out.
One of the photographers spoke with the AP, and wow is this guy a pansy:
"I was pouring blood. I threw myself at them, put blood all over them, and told them that I had HIV so they would stop hitting me," Goursolas told The Associated Press on Friday."
Biting? Really, guy? Maybe a bunch of giant security guards attacked him unexpectedly, and maybe in the heat of passion he resorted to biting someone… but why would he brag about it to the Associated Press? “Oh yeah, I totally bit that guy! Then I curled up in the fetal position and cried! Yeah, who else wants some?!?”
It’s probably worth mentioning that Brad and Angelina sold the exclusive photo rights to their new children for $11 million, and are donating the money to charity. So these photographers are essentially trying to steal $11 million from charity. They’re like Robin Hood, except if Robin Hood stole from the poor and gave to the rich, then lied about having AIDS.
It gets better…
One of the security guards also spoke with the AP, and he said that French police have been insufficient when it comes to protecting the Pitt-Jolie family. He said that if the invasions of privacy continue, the family might be forced to move. Go figure, there’s an attack and the French can’t stop it. You know, this is just like when we had to bail out France during World Celebrity War II. If not for the United States, those French would all be speaking paparazzi right now.
