Let’s just get this out of the way: I cannot believe that “your body is a wonderland” crap actually works. Nevertheless, Jennifer Aniston is currently dating John Mayer and the actress is reportedly quite infatuated with the dentist-office-slash-minivan-radio-staple.
However, there have been a few false reports thrown out there this week about the couple’s relationship. For starters, sources were saying that Aniston and Mayer were planning a fall wedding. US Magazine says that isn’t the case:
But her rep tells Usmagazine.com: "She is not getting married."
Meanwhile, Star Magazine reported a slightly more devious story; that Aniston was trying to have John Mayer’s baby in an attempt to show up ex-boyfriend Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Also false.
Says Aniston's rep: "Both headlines are complete fabrications."
That second rumor is ridiculous. I know Jennifer Aniston was probably upset when she broke up with Brad Pitt, but keep in mind, she is rich and famous and attractive, so I have a suspicion she bounced back alright. It’s like, when a celebrity breaks up with someone, are they really that upset, or do they just say to themselves, “I’m George Clooney, I’ll just go out tonight and get myself another equally hot chick.”
Plus, getting pregnant is not really the best way to show up an ex. You can slash their tires, you can call their new boyfriend and mess with them, you can leave nasty messages on Facebook or leak an old sex tape online. But getting knocked up doesn’t do anything. If I found out my ex-girlfriend was pregnant, I wouldn’t feel shamed. I would laugh for 30 seconds then go back to watching “Seinfeld.” “Hahaha, oh Carrie, you dumb tramp… hey, the Mulva episode!”
These rumors aside, you have to feel good for Jennifer Aniston. According to US, she and Mayer are serious and she appears to be very much in love. I envy Aniston, because in my life I’m yet to experience that type of true, undying love. Oh sure, there were women. Lots of women. Lots of lovemaking, but never any love. This was the world I’d made for myself. Wait, no, I’m sorry. That wasn’t my life. That was Charlton Heston in “Planet of the Apes.” My bad.
Here are some pictures of Aniston shopping the other day…
