According to USMagazine, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt intend to get married on live television.
"I'm just waiting for that big ring," Montag, 21, said in the interview airing tonight.
And Montag – who debuted her new single, "Overdosin,'" today – says the couple isn't ready to leave The Hills.
"No, where would I go?" she responded.
I don't like The Hills. I don't care about The Hills. I don't like the people in The Hills. Unless Heidi Montag is in my mouth, I don't care what she's doing. So you can imagine when I heard the news about her marrying Spencer Pratt on live TV, I pretty much fell asleep and hoped in the back of my mind there would be a Sanford and Son rerun on that night. There's not, so I might kill myself instead.
I can think of hundreds of better events to show live. Maybe a bunch of blindfolded fat kids getting pushed over a bridge or something. Just anything that isn't these two bottles of spermicidal lube getting married.
I think the new season starts tonight for those of you who care. Heidi out and about, wearing sunglasses designed for a T-Rex below.
