You know, whenever people talk about Hayden Panettiere, it's always about her appearance, but today, I want to pay homage to her skill.
Here's Hayden on the set of Heroes yesterday actually acting, and if I do say so myself, she's a terrific actress. I mean, she's actually perfect. She has the whole cheerleader thing completely done right! It's not even a matter of opinion, it's just a 100%, absolutely positive, indisputable fact.
How do I know that her acting is perfect? Well, it's because she plays a teenage cheerleader and she looks exactly like each and every one of those skanks in high school who I was completely in love with but would never give me the time of day. Yea, I know, unrequited love is a bitch.
The only difference is, when Hayden is off-set we live happily together in a small villa in the south of Spain... why so far? Well, of course, if we lived in Hollywood together, it would be too difficult to hide our residence from all of the other hot, barely legal cheerleaders in the area.
Think about it... they would be coming to our home in swarms, battling through security and attempting to collectively knock our door down in order to injure Hayden and get to me... you know, because of the deep, sexual desire these women would have for me, along with the jealousy they would have toward Hayden. And that's just not fair to Hayden, I love her too much.
So, when she's not busy on set, we try to live a very personal, quiet life together in our villa with our puppies. I know, I know... she's lucky to have a man who's so understanding. I get that a lot.
Here's Hayden in her little cheerleader uniform. I don't know about you, but I'm officially aroused.
