I take back every single fantasy I've ever had about Eva Longoria. I would rather have sex with Tony Parker's jock strap. This is disturbing.
It's not so much that she looks like an ugly tramp that bothers me, but it's that she and her make-up artists and magazine editors and everyone else on the planet put all of this effort into tricking us into masturbating to Eva Longoria, and then one night with Mario Lopez ruins everything. What the hell is he doing there anyway? Oh well, I hope she's happy with herself because I'm clearly not, and my opinion matters.
