Now that Paris Hilton and Benji Madden are broken up, Paris can get back to doing what she does best. Guys. I signed up several months ago, but it could still be a couple of years til I get to go in Paris. It's a busy city afterall.
Here's Paris doing something at some place with some other people. RELATED STORIES
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Jennifer Garner has filed a restraining order against some douchebag who's been stalking her for the last 6+ years. That's long enough that you can safely consider it a relationship. According to
Star:
In papers filed in Los Angeles Superior Court on Nov. 7, the mom-to-be asks for protection against Steven R. Burky, 36, who she alleges has "engaged in obsessive and harassing behavior, posting about me on the Internet, sending me multiple packages and letters containing delusional and paranoid thoughts and following me around the country, through multiple states, to make contact with me."
Jennifer's sworn affidavit states that Burky has shown up at her private residence — where she lives with hubby Ben Affleck and their 2-year-old, Violet — and said that "God sent him a vision" that the actress would be persecuted in a way that could result in her death.
The temporary order stipulates that Burky can't contact Jen by any means and must stay 100 yards away from her, Ben, Violet and several of their employees. It also specifically requests that he must stay away from Violet's school.
I once had a vision that Kristen Bell and I should have insane sex in a park bathroom, but 5 minutes later, I cleaned up the mess and went on with my life. What I didn't do was everything that this Steven R. Burky guy did. Ben Affleck really should kick the hell out of this guy if he comes around again. I've seen him in Pearl Harbor, that guy can fight.
Seriously though, stalking isn't cool. Hopefully this creep stays away from them or just dies.
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In an effort to prove to the world that Madonna's gold-digger claims are false, Guy Ritchie has refused to take a dime of her money. Noble? Yes. Stupid? Definitely. According to
Daily Mail:
Madonna and Guy Ritchie have reached agreement on their divorce - with the British film director refusing to take a penny of the pop star’s cash, it has emerged.
An announcement could come by the end of the month, a source close to the negotiations tells London's Evening Standard.
Madonna, who attended a charity gala in New York last night looking much younger than her fifty years , will walk away from the eight-year marriage with her fortune, estimated at £300m, intact.
The article goes on to say something about how Guy only cares about the children's living situation now. Doesn't really matter, the bigger concern is that $300,000,000. Yes, that's 94 zeros. Ritchie is worth about $30million himself, so he won't have to stand in the soup line, but still, he was legally entitled to as much as half of the old whore's fortune. Oh well, maybe that's just how they do it in England. Here in the States, you get every penny you can and hope your ex gets AIDS. RELATED STORIES
The December issue of UK Harper's Bazaar Magazine will feature the breastfeeding-troubled Angelina Jolie. Sadly there won't be any pics of her breastfeeding even though magazine sales would've been through the roof and they would've reached an all-new 20 year old male demographic. But whatever, they never listen to me.
Check out the images from the magazine. The nice thing about digital scans is you can actually clean your monitor off. One go with the actual magazine and it's ruined. RELATED STORIES
If there was ever any doubt that Victoria's Secret models are manufactured in a lab with test tubes and beakers, there isn't now. Karolina Kurkova has no belly button. Sure, she has an oversized dimple where there would normally be a belly button, but that's just a coincidence. Someone should check into this ASAP or she'll die. Same with Adriana Lima. I heard she has a tail where her vagina should be.
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You might think I'm an even bigger loser than you already did when you read what I'm about to write, but I have to say it. I don't like Hayden Panettiere. At all. If I wanted to see a midget with a superpower, I'd go to a circus. She's by far the worst actor in Heroes and now her hair is something out of a freak show. What the hell is this even called? It's something someone would do in the bathroom after a shower and then come out and show their mom just for a laugh. It looks like ass.
But hey, check out these pictures anyway. You probably like her.
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According to
US Mag, Angelina recently admitted she sucks at breastfeeding babies:
Angelina Jolie admits she struggled breastfeeding her 4-month-old twins, Knox and Viv, simultaneously.
"You think, 'Ah, if anybody can do that, I can do that,' she says in an interview on British show GMTV. "But it's a lot harder than it looks in the books. I did that a few times, but [mostly] I would take turns. It just takes a long time."
Billions, or possibly trillions (I'm not a scientist), of women throughout the evolution of the world have breastfed their babies...and without a book. But Angelina Jolie, a woman who you'd think could fly or at least turn invisible, can't follow a diagram in a book that shows a baby sucking on a boob? Maybe she needed pop up pictures or 3d glasses to help, I don't know. Granted, as a guy, I'll never know what it's like to breastfeed a baby, but if women were successfully doing it 10,000 years ago in dark caves or in the middle of a forest, I'd fully expect Angelina to be able to do it in her $40m French home.
On second thought, maybe I misunderstood and she meant two babies at the same time. In that case, she must be terrible at threesomes. RELATED STORIES
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