Not to act like I'm some really hot person, but when you're Jessica Alba and you look like this, even ugly ass people like me have a right to make fun of you. Her hair looks like this girl I knew in 6th grade who never ever washed it. We would find things like mashed potatoes in it all the time. Then those glasses were probably $1,000 but they look like the kind you put on a 2 year old, take a picture, and then laugh about. And for someone who does make-up commercials, um, where's the make-up?
Jessica Alba just won a ticket straight out of my fantasies. It bothers her more than you think.
