Jack Bauer is Awesome

Kiefer Sutherland and some of the crew of 24 went to a bar yesterday and drank over $500 worth of alcohol. And no one died, so it was just a good time. TMZ has the details:

We've learned the "24" star and members of the show's crew popped into The Spot in San Pedro, California last week after wrapping up a shoot nearby -- and they were ready to get their drink on.

According to an employee at the bar, Kiefer was throwing back scotch & Cokes and bought drinks for everybody in the joint -- roughly 30 people. The total damage: $500. No food ... all booze.

The drinks may have been stiff, but Kiefer wasn't -- we're told he tipped $200.

What they're leaving out is the part where half of the bar contracted a biological virus and 23 hours later, he saved them all with the only consequence being that he himself contracted the only incurable strain of the virus along the way. But don't worry, he has another 24 hours to deal with that.

11.03.09 at 02:08 PM   

Kim Kardashian Was Princess Jasmine

Halloween's been over for 3 days but seeing as how this site has never been on the cutting edge, I think it's perfectly acceptable to post these pictures of Kim Kardashian dressed up as Princess Jasmine. And I'm thinking she should always wear that outfit...to the mall, photo shoots, church, funerals, etc.

    11.03.09 at 02:03 PM   

    Hayden Panettiere in Leather

    I've been getting a lot of angry emails from midgets lately, telling me to stop making fun of them for their small size. So I thought I'd do them and their little stubby fingers a favor and post pictures of the most famous midget of all time. It's like when Obama became president, black people could no longer play the slavery card. Now midgets can no longer play the little people card. But I still fully intend to play the loser living in his basement card. It gets me a lot of action. Not from girls, but whatever.

      11.03.09 at 02:00 PM   

      Still Trying To Get Out

      Roman Polanski is still trying to get out of a Swiss prison as he waits for a decision to be made about his extradition to the United States for doing it with a 13 year old girl in 1977. According to sources:

      Lawyer Herve Temime says the offer Monday includes "adequate guarantees" that Polanski will not flee justice if released. The 76-year-old director is awaiting a decision on extradition to the United States.

      Switzerland's Justice Ministry rejected a bail offer Friday, considering Polanski a high flight risk. They noted it was not a cash offer.

      Temime said Sunday the new offer would include a "very, very significant" cash amount, but on Monday, he gave no further details.

      Here's an adequate guarantee that he won't flee: leave him in jail. Those bars are harder to bend than you think. Alternatively, he could send this very significant cash amount to me, and I will personally go to Switzerland...and buy all the cheese I can fit on the airplane while blogging about my trip the whole time. Seems like a win-win situation to me.

      11.02.09 at 10:20 AM   

      Surprise: "This Is It" Makes a Trillion Dollars

      Exploiting death is not only fun but very profitable too! Just take the new Michael Jackson movie for example. According to AP

      "Michael Jackson's This Is It" pulled in $101 million worldwide in its first five days, and distributor Sony is extending the farewell performance film beyond its planned two-week run.

      The film was the No. 1 Halloween thriller domestically with a $21.3 million opening weekend, according to studio estimates Sunday.

      "This Is It" raised its domestic total to $32.5 million. The movie pulled in $68.5 million overseas, including $10.4 million in Japan, $6.3 million in Germany, $5.8 million in France and $3.2 million in China.

      "He's just loved everywhere on the planet," said Rory Bruer, head of distribution for Sony. "It doesn't matter if it's Asia, Africa, Australia, Europe, South America. Every continent in the world loved him and his music."

      You know what else is loved everywhere on the planet? Oxygen. And cupcakes. They're just so good, the way you think you're eating a normal piece of chocolate and then OH WHAT IS THIS? It's adorable cream-filling! I would say a cupcake is much more comparable to Michael Jackson than you may think.

      11.02.09 at 10:16 AM   

      Jessica Alba was Dora the Explorer

      It took me way too long to figure out what the hell Jessica Alba was supposed to be, but a 2 year old happened to be walking past my basement window, so I asked him. Apparently she is Dora the Explorer:

      So am I the only one who noticed "Dora" and "Explorer" don't rhyme at all? I realize Dorer the Explorer is probably kinda strange, but as it is now, it just sounds like some idiot made a bad rhyme. And everyone knows 2 year olds demand poetic, insightful meaning in their cartoons

      11.02.09 at 10:08 AM   

      Kate Beckinsale was a ... Gay Vampire?

      Kate Beckinsale and her family headed out to a Halloween party all dressed up, but I couldn't tell you what the hell they are. It looks like the husband guy is the Crow, the kid is a creepy beauty pageant winner turned zombie, and Kate is some kind of hybrid between Prince and a vampire. I don't know, I'm just confused. They should've just gone as the balloon boy family and called it a day.

      11.02.09 at 09:59 AM