Jessica Alba

The latest news and gossip involving celebrity Jessica Alba.

Arena Magazine Gets Lucky with Jessica Alba

Any magazine that can land a photoshoot with Jessica Alba is a good magazine. Especially when the photographer clearly told her to look at slutty as possible. Although if it was me, I would\'ve told her to pretend she\'s eating a popcicle and getting a prostate exam at the same time. ... [Full Story]

Finally, Jessica Alba Doesn\'t Look Homeless

After about 10 consecutive posts completely killing every fantasy I\'ve ever had about Jessica Alba, Zinc Magazine comes around to save the day. I\'m not sure how they convinced her to look good again, but I\'m not complaining. A month of Jessica looking like she stumbled out of a homeless shelter was starting to bother me. ... [Full Story]

Jessica Alba Attempts Golf and Fails

Actually I don\'t know if she failed. I\'m just judging by her form. And since I don\'t know anything about golf forms, you can pretty much ignore everything I\'ve said. I heard she shot a 237 on 18 holes. Is that good? ... [Full Story]

The Best Jessica Alba Post on the Entire Internet

Admittedly, Jessica Alba has been looking lately a little bit like that ugly girl in 5th grade you never wanted as a lab partner. Fortunately, this post redeems all of that, and then some. I\'m ashamed to admit it, but I didn\'t even realize Jessica had an ass this amazing. It\'s definitely gonna win a lot of big, upright trophies tonight. Click the Jessica Alba pictures below to see them in ... [Full Story]

Jessica Alba Has New Hair

Jessica Alba was seen and swarmed by a mad group of photographers yesterday, all hoping to get a shot of her new haircut. Exciting lives these guys lead. I\'m just not sure why Jessica keeps looking so strange lately. If she doesn\'t look like she just stumbled out of a homeless shelter, she looks like a little girl\'s doll. After yesterday\'s pictures with her mom though, it\'s still pretty ... [Full Story]

Celebrities Do Things Part 2

A whole bunch of stuff happened in the last couple of days that no one quite cares about, but when combined, it makes for an interesting post. Jessica Alba went for a walk in Beverly Hills with her morbidly obese mother, thus immediately changing my perception of Jessica from sex symbol to timebomb. Hilary Duff went to a club. Because she\'s a slut and I love her. Reese Witherspoon went ... [Full Story]

Jessica Alba Went Post-Christmas Shopping With Some Guy

After carefully studying the images below and trying to figure out who the man in these pictures of Jessica Alba is, I\'ve come to three possible conclusions: 1) her lover, 2) her bodyguard, 3) her gay friend, or 4) some guy stalking her who just happens to make it in half the pics. Ok, that was 4. I doubt it\'s her lover because I doubt he\'d even be able to get a date with my mom to Red ... [Full Story]

I Hope This is For a Movie Role

Not to act like I\'m some really hot person, but when you\'re Jessica Alba and you look like this, even ugly ass people like me have a right to make fun of you. Her hair looks like this girl I knew in 6th grade who never ever washed it. We would find things like mashed potatoes in it all the time. Then those glasses were probably $1,000 but they look like the kind you put on a 2 year old, take a ... [Full Story]

Jessica Alba Poses for a Campari Calendar

Whichever idiot decided to surround Jessica Alba with gay dudes for this shoot, I hope if the U.S. ever gets nuked, it lands directly on him. Just kidding, that\'s nothing to joke about. Which is why I\'m serious, I hope it does hit him. On a side note, this is the closest I\'ve ever seen Jessica\'s face to another man\'s package. Be sure to check out the naughty pictures below in high ... [Full Story]

Jessica Alba Looks Incredible in these Pictures

When Jessica Alba decides getting half-naked for a photoshoot is a good idea, I quickly think running upstairs, locking the door and getting under the covers with a flashlight is a good idea. We\'re in sync like that. It\'s a give and take relationship. Some of these pictures of Jessica are just ridiculous. I recommend having safety goggles and an extra set of underwear nearby when you check ... [Full Story]

Jessica Alba Goes Ugly

Jessica Alba has decided she\'s had enough of a little boys and men like me thinking about her late at night, under the covers. So she\'s gone fugly in a new movie called An Invisible Sign of My Own. Really, all she did was get horrible bangs and not wear makeup. If she was that close to being ugly, then I\'m glad I turned her down when I had the chance. I\'ve got standards. ... [Full Story]

Time to Shut Up, Jessica Alba

I don\'t mind seeing Jessica Alba in bondage, which is why these Declare Yourself ads have been tolerable up until this point. But now, along with Hayden Panetierre, it\'s just too much to handle. Who the hell is this ad aimed at? The retarded? It\'s the corniest, lamest thing I\'ve seen in a while, and now I\'m boycotting all Jessica Alba movies because of it. Fortunately I was doing ... [Full Story]