So yea, here's the Eva Longoria Sex Tape everyone was talking about yesterday. Why am I not more excited? Forget excited, why is there no parade for this thing? You would think there would at least be a parade in my pants! But no, nothing, none of that. Why? Because this "sex tape" IS NO SEX TAPE!!!
It's just a night-vision depiction of Eva joking around with actor Eric Christian Olson as "Perry Hilton" jumping around, laughing, and hitting each other with pillows on the hotel bed. That's about it. Horrible. Not funny, and just plain mean. I got all hot for this thing, now what the hell am I supposed to do with this?..
All I'm left with are this pics of Eva yesterday in a wifebeater and some tight, tight pants. Clearly, I'm still saddened by the let down, but nothing says "I'm over it" like Eva Longoria rubbing her ass against some cars. Enjoy, kids.
