In the most shocking news of the week, Lindsay Lohan has said "no." They said it couldn't be done, but
Page Six has learned she turned down Playboy:
The Sapphic-leaning star has turned down a $700,000 offer to do an eight-page topless spread in Playboy's 55th-anniversary issue this January. "If there's nudity, then the answer's no . . . She's not going down the [New York] magazine road again," Lohan's rep told Playboy's creative consultant, Hal Lifson, referring to Lindsay's naked Marilyn Monroe tribute last winter. Lifson said he hoped to have Lohan do a tribute to '60s sex kitten Ann-Margret and her film "Kitten With a Whip," which is one of Lohan's faves.
If Playboy is still that desperate to have Lindsay's freckly body in their overpriced magazine, they could probably scrounge up enough accidental vagina and side boob shots to put together a pretty decent spread. They'll probably get sued, but Hef will get over it with the help of Holly Madison and her mouth.
I haven't been this proud of Lindsay since that last scene of Herbie: Fully Loaded. You know the one, what a great movie. RELATED STORIES
|
|
Because she likes money and hates her family, Lynne Spears has written a tell-all book about the kids she raised and ruined. Some unfortunate person at NY Daily News apparently read it and shared some information. Here are the highlights:
- Justin Timberlake is an oblivious fool because Britney Spears lost her virginity to a football player when she was 14.
- Britney started drinking at age 13 and experimented with drugs at 15. She was also a Mouseketeer on Disney at this time.
- She was caught with cocaine and marijuana on a private jet at age 16.
- Lynne admits she let her 16 year old daughter (at the time) sleep with Justin Timberlake, and she knowingly went alon gwith the whole virgin thing.
Why Lynne Spears felt the need to tell the world all of this is about as understandable as those people who try to kill themselves by slitting across their wrist when everybody knows it's "down the road, not across the street." At least she did accomplish letting the world know that wild wolves could've done a better job raising Britney than her.
This horrible book, titled Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World, is due out September 16th. Don't buy it. RELATED STORIES
To absolutely no one's surprise, Seth Rogen has confessed that he likes porn. According to
US Weekly:
"I love porn. I watch tons of porn. The Internet speeds have evolved directly with my sexual drive," Rogen said.
So it's fitting that the actor, 26, is headlining Kevin Smith's new comedy, Zack and Miri Make a Porno (out October 31).
When it came to signing on for the movie, Rogen says, "I almost did it purely based on the title."
The comedy (which premieres Sunday at the Toronto International Film Festival) centers on Rogen (who has a nude scene) and his pal (Elizabeth Banks), who play lifelong BFFs who discover there may be something more to their relationship when they make a porn flick to pay off their debts.
Everything about this movie seemed awesome until I found out Seth Rogen gets naked in it. Then I bought a poster board and wrote in black marker the name of the movie and stapled it to the wall above my TV so that I would never accidentally watch it. Seth Rogen's penis is like a run-down puppy mill. You've heard about it, but why would you wanna see it?
I'll probably watch it anyway though because Seth is funny and a Jew. RELATED STORIES
none
Jeremy Jackson, better known as "Hobie" (The Hoff's son) on Baywatch, and former porn star Sky Lopez are in the latest sex tape attempting to make its rounds. Jeremy claims, according to
TMZ, that he was blackmailed:
We just got this statement from Jeremy: "Listen, this video was made by my best friend. Between me and a casual sex partner who just so happened to be a former porn star. I was later physically threatened if I didn't turn the DVD over to some drug addicted thugs.
"They said, 'Sky wanted it back and didn't want to ever be seen as a porn star, that she had turned to God and was changing her life.' So I gave it up for HER and so they would not beat me up and 'make my life hell' as they had threatened. I was blackmailed. This private recording becoming public kinda sucks. But I thought people out there should know the truth and how far some people will go to make a quick buck."
We're told the tape is about 45 minutes in length, but so far -- no buyers.
Ouch, no buyers. That means you're ugly.
Of all the people on Baywatch that could've been blackmailed for a sex tape, why did God think it would be so hilarious to make it Jeremy Jackson? Yasmine Bleeth, Erika Eleniak, Pamela Anderson, even David Hasselhoff would've been better than this turd.
Jeremy doesn't have to worry too much. Everyone's already seen Sky Lopez in action, and no one wants to see Jeremy. Next. RELATED STORIES
none
Lance Armstrong recently admitted to Men's Journal that his bike is his real woman.
"The fact is that if you are riding your bike five, six, seven hours a day, you are not a sex champion. You're just not. You have fatigue, low testosterone and a lower libido."
He also said, "I never got any complaints."
Nice job throwing that last statement in there. But seriously, who's going to tell a former Cancer patient, 7-time (or something like that) Tour de France winner that he sucks at sex? I'm not even sure Roseanne would say that, and that bitch will say anything for 12 seconds of fame.
I just can't believe he rides his bike 6 hours a day. That's like watching Titanic twice and still being on your bike. Unless there's a mound of naked bodies and sugar cookies at the end of whatever trail I'm on, I wouldn't make it 6 minutes. RELATED STORIES
Jessica Simpson recently graced
Fox with her presence:
While Jessica Simpson didn't write the track "Remember That" on her new album, it still struck a chord when she first listened to the tune about abuse.
"It was one of those moments that just moved me to tears — it's empowering. It's about that woman really standing up for herself in an abusive situation whether it is mental, physical, emotional. Everybody has dealt with abuse in some sort of way," Simpson told Pop Tarts. But something the singer was a little more excited to talk about was becoming an aunt
"I would love to be making records and making babies and hopefully I'm married in 10 years," Simpson added. "I have the dreams of every normal person.
Yeah, us commoners out here in the world just want to make records and babies and be married. We do nothing else. I wake up every morning and say, "who can I have a baby with today?" and then I make a record. It's awesome and normal, just like Jessica Simpson.
By the sounds of her song "Remember That" (which I'm sure sucks), she was abused by Nick Lachey, to which I say ...it's a shame it didn't do any good. Her country album drops on September 9th, so be sure to go to the store that day and buy bread and milk instead.
To further prove she's just a "normal" person, here's Jessica wearing a large brown papersack. Because that's what we all wear when we're not having babies. RELATED STORIES
First he cheated. Then he was just addicted to porn. Then he got AIDS from a hooker. And now David Duchovny is said (again) to have cheated on his wife, Tea Leoni. According to
NY Daily News:
But The National Enquirer reports that Duchovny went into rehab because Leoni "finally caught him [cheating]."
He said Tea gave him an ultimatum: "Get treatment or our marriage is over," a source told the tab.
"At first, Duchovny tried to lie his way out of trouble, but eventually was overwhelmed with guilt and confessed," The Enquirer contends.
US Weekly concurs that Duchovny, 48, "has a history of indiscretions," according to "multiple sources." The mag claims he put the moves on an extra on his Showtime hit, "Californication." "They ended up making out," alleges a source. "She later heard this wasn't the first time he'd taken special interest in an extra."
If there's a solid, reliable source in this country, it's The National Enquirer. They've never been wrong. David Duchovny is a bastard.
The real victims are all the extras that David has seduced. They already have the nearly impossible job of just standing there, and now they have to make out with the star of the show. Rough life. I hear Sizzler is hiring. RELATED STORIES
|
