I'm a Little Scared

I'm already scared to death of Madonna and her tribe of rainbow children, and I run in fear of Cameron Diaz eating me everytime she opens her enormous mouth. So when Cameron Diaz decides to dress up as Madonna, it's something out of a horror movie. And I don't mean one of those cheesy ones where a cell phone goes around killing anyone who answers it. I'm talking Carrie meets Chuckie meets those scary bastards from The Hills Have Eyes. Someone hold me.