What the hell is that?
If Cher dyed her hair blonde and had a threesome with Donald Duck and one of those red, white, and blue rocket popsicles that you get the ice cream truck, is this what their love child would look like?
These Jenna Jameson Heatherette runway pictures at Smashbox in L.A. yesterday are hideous and frightening. I remember back when I was a little kid and I was searching the internet for 12 second porno clips with my AOL dial-up modem and Jenna Jameson would always come up being all thick and sexy... now, she just looks like she's melting.
I don't know how anyone could possibly have sex with this. I mean, I'd still hit it, I just don't know if I could... you know, like if it's physically possible. What? You think that's gross? Well, it is, but it's still Jenna Jameson. Oh, and she's a emotionally fragile nut job... thus the on-going bout with anorexia. So, my theory is... if I looked her straight in her duck face and told that I loved her, she would probably believe me... then I'm in! I'd take that hoe's money and run.
Brilliant idea... yes. But this whole average guy taking advantage of emotionally unstable celebrities can't be fully credited to my genius (although I am very smart)... I have to give up some of the credit to this dude who started bangin' Lindsay Lohan while she was in rehab. Now that kid right there, he's an opportunist if I've ever seen one! That kid's all business.
In fact, it was such a brilliant business move, if this whole bangin' Lindsay thing falls through, he should go on The Apprentice because there's no way that kid could lose. Just think about it, he'd be on Trump's yacht smoking cigars and talking smack about overweight lesbians in no time. If that's not the American dream... I don't know what is.
Anyway, here's Jenna Jameson looking so hideous you can't help but look. Enjoy, kids.
