Lindsay Lohan as Marilyn Monroe (yet again)

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but someone needs to tell Lindsay Lohan that no matter how many times she dresses up as Marilyn Monroe, she's still going to be a freckly, orange lesbian. It would be like me claiming to be Wolverine just because I'm sitting here in my X-Men boxers eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes. Doesn't work like that.