I have a great love for Zooey Deschanel. Not because her sister is Bones or because she is a groovy hipster... it's mainly because she perfectly pulls off the "awkward, insane girl you still love" in her new show "New Girl." The writing and acting isn't the best, but I could watch her spaz out and shove her dorky glasses up her face all night (and thank God that I'm not actually dating a girl who does that).
Not only has Rihanna been seen at the same club as Chris Brown (a.k.a., they are probably hooking up again but keeping it on the DL or he is at least secretly beating her), but Rihanna also just got a huge THUG LIFE tattoo across her fists. Because she is one classy broad.
She went to an LA tattoo parlor yesterday to get it done... and it's hard to tell whether it's in progress or she is just getting a white tattoo. (Either way, I'm retracting my public offer to have sex with her.) On the bright side, Danny Trejo was also at the tattoo parlor. And any story with Danny in it is good, right? Gimme a Pulitzer!
On Monday night, Demi Moore was taken to the hospital. Law enforcement claims that a 911 call was placed at 10:45 PM Monday night that led to paramedics arriving at Demi's home and then transporting her to the nearest hospital.
Demi's rep is saying that she is NOT there for substance abuse, but: "Because of the stresses in her life right now, Demi has chosen to seek professional assistance to treat her exhaustion and improve her overall health. She looks forward to getting well and is grateful for the support of her family and friends."
Hopefully she didn't drink Drain-O over Ashton Kutcher. The only time I liked him was when he was armless in "The Butterfly Effect." Seeing that is one of the best memories I have.
Jason Trawick is going to make Britney Spears one happy lady... and what I mean by that is her father is going to give her all of the money she made once she marries Jason.
Her father Jamie has been conservator of her affairs since her life spiraled out of control in 2007.
But as a special gift to mark her upcoming wedding to fiance Jason Trawick, Britney's father is asking a judge to halt the conservatorship.
It's sweet that Britney's father finally thinks she is sane enough to handle her own money... but won't he be embarrassed when she divorces Jason three months after they get married, buys a fleet of Ferraris and date-rapes Justin Timberlake.
This year's Academy Awards show is going to be the worst in recent history. Not only is Billy Crystal hosting (he had his turn, why not let other actors have a chance?) but all of the nominated movies make me suicide-by-drowning-in-my-theater-soda-level bored. The only movie I cared enough to watch was "The Descendants," and that's only because one of the writers plays a ambiguously homosexual, cross-dressing character on the best television show to ever exist (i.e.., Community). Here is the boring list, try not to slit your wrists:
Best Picture
The Artist
The Descendants
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
The Help
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Moneyball
The Tree of Life
War Horse
Best Director
Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Alexander Payne, The Descendants
Martin Scorsese, Hugo
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
Terrence Malick, The Tree of Life
Best Actor
Demián Bichir, A Better Life
George Clooney, The Descendants
Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Gary Oldman, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt, Moneyball
Best Actress
Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis, The Help
Rooney Mara, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn
Best Supporting Actor
Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn
Jonah Hill, Moneyball
Nick Nolte, Warrior
Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Max Von Sydow, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
Best Supporting Actress
Bérénice Bejo, The Artist
Jessica Chastain, The Help
Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids
Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs
Octavia Spencer, The Help
Best Original Screenplay
Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Annie Mumolo & Kristen Wiig, Bridesmaids
J.C. Chandor, Margin Call
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
Asghar Farhadi, A Separation
Best Adapted Screenplay
Alexander Payne, Jim Rash & Nat Faxon, The Descendants
John Logan, Hugo
George Clooney, Grant Heslov & Beau Willimon, The Ides of March
Aaron Sorkin & Steven Zaillian, Moneyball
Peter Straughan & Bridget O’Connor, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Of course the man who sings "Kiss From a Rose" is a completely romantic sweetie-pie. Even though he and Heidi Klum are getting divorced (and will sadly no longer hold their famous costume parties on Halloween), he told Ellen Degeneres on her show that he isn't going to be taking his wedding ring off anytime soon. Meanwhile, Heidi is looking beautiful and shopping for lawyers and not dressing up as a cat with Seal. I knew she couldn't be trusted. :(
"Dark Shadows" originally aired in the 60s and 70s, so it's no surprise that the quality was lacking and it was on the cheesy side of things. But now Tim Burton and Johnny Depp are coming together to make a Dark Shadows movie. Classic Barnabas Collins fans are going to be disappointed, because they are going to be dealing with that is shown above.
Personally, Tim Burton could make a sandwich and I'd love the hell out of it because I just adore his work. And I'd watch Johnny Depp eat said sandwich because I love seeing Johnny carry out Tim's work. But sandwich metaphor aside, I do not want this movie to be ruined. DO. NOT. WANT!
