These Hayden Panettiere ass pictures make me happy... well maybe only where her short denim shorts cover her ass. But then my eyes naturally wander downward and it just starts getting all kinds of nasty. Is it just me or do you see the beginning stages of cellulite brewing right around her upper thigh as well?
Honestly, I looked quickly when I first saw these pictures and I thought to myself... is that Britney Spears' ass? Then I noticed that there were no Starbucks Frappuccinos in the picture, and I really couldn't smell any rotten hog meat through the computer screen... and that's when I knew it had to be someone else. But Hayden Panettiere! Anyone but Hayden! I love Hayden! Dammit!
From a gorgeous, innocent, world-saving heroine... to... Stumpy McSloppypants!!! What the hell is that!? Come on, Hayden, you're better than that! Okay, okay, I might have been a little too harsh with the whole "Stumpy McSloppypants" thing... but it's only out of love... I don't want you to fall any bit short of the perfection you're capable of. So, although I do appreciate the bending over for the camera... next time, just make sure you spend a few hours on a thighmaster before you do it is all I'm saying...
Ahh, it's okay... I still love you Hayden... no matter what you look like. See, someone as superficial as I am... admitting my love for you in the face of some physical shortcomings... that's when you know it's real Hayden. That's when you know it's REAL!!!
