Charlie Sheen is a Real Life Action Movie Villain

In the most entertaining accusations of the month, Charlie Sheen's wife is accusing the actor of doing some things you would typically see at the beginning of a Bruce Willis movie before Bruce ultimately hunts the guy down and throws him off of a building just before muttering a catchy line. But anyway, here's the story:

Charlie Sheen's wife told police the actor pinned her on a bed, put a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her in a Christmas Day fight in Aspen that began when she said she wanted a divorce.

An arrest warrant affidavit released Monday quotes Brooke Mueller Sheen as saying that the actor straddled her on a bed with one hand grasping her neck and the other holding the knife. She said Sheen told her: "You better be in fear. If you tell anybody, I'll kill you."

He also told her, "Your mother's money means nothing, I have ex-police I can hire who know how to get the job done and they won't leave any trace," according to the affidavit.

I don't want to condone these actions, unless they're up for an Oscar, but telling your husband you want a divorce on Christmas is a little ridiculous. It couldn't possibly wait til December 26th of even January 8th or March 4th or some date that isn't December 25th? At any rate, death threats with a knife are probably not the best solution. Chaining her in the basement works a lot better. BRB, have to feed my slaves.

12.29.09 at 08:57:44 AM