Surely wearing slutty black dresses two days in a row is a pathetic attempt to get my attention. But no means no, Kristin. The days of me sitting outside of your nail salon, getting high on toluene and sniffing your toe separators are over. You have to be strong.
Or the dresses are just possibly a result of it now being March. As they say, Spring (and the tent in my pants) has sprung. I never did understand how, when people live in Los Angeles, the weather changes enough for them to alter their clothing. If I was in L.A. I'd be wearing cutoffs and a clever Battlestar Galactica tank top every day of the year.
But starlets stop being extremely whorish to put on cute puffy jackets and leather boots when it's winter, even though they don't have to. We know it's still 65 there. Knock it off, Hollywood.
