In order to become "more spiritual," Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt renamed themselves. Their new monikers were inspired by Native Americans and the tools claim that they are true Native American names.
Henceforth, they will be known as White Wolf and Running Bear.
First of all, you can't just go around telling people what your nickname is going to be. I've been telling everyone for years to call me Boney Shagtastic, but no one complies.
Secondly, although Heidi's White Wolf name has a vaguely sexy vibe to it, Spencer's Running Bear seems a little ridiculous. (Let the record show that I think they are both ridiculous.) I think he got the short stick here. Have you ever seen a bear running? Sure, if you're on the business end of a bear it could be pretty terrifying, but to Mother Nature and everyone else bears are just lumbering idiots. It's like watching a fat kid fall down a flight of steps; it may be fast, but it won't be pretty.
I wish that Spencer would have chosen a nickname... sorry... a true Native American name that implied more flesh-beardiness. Maybe like White Man's Beard, or Bearded Dragon, or maybe even Flesh-Toned Schnauzer.
I go back in forth between wanting to bone the consciousness out of Heidi and thinking that the two are lost causes, exponentially becoming more douchebaggy every day. Today, I rule in favor of them being douchebags.
Sorry, White Wolf.
