These Jessica Simpson pictures are hilarious to me. It all began when she was at the 11th Annual Ace Awards in New York last night... hey, my name's Ace... and I have a little award trophy for Jessica myself. It's RIGHT HERE (said loudly while pointing at my crotch)!!! And by little, I mean huge. And by trophy, I mean my penis.
Anyway, what's so hilarious about this is that her heel got in some sort of street grate and she almost fell flat on her fine ass. See, that's a beautiful thing to me... when hot chicks do stupid sh*t and embarrass themselves. Because back in elementary school, this kid I knew, he was really ugly, and he'd always get teased by all the young, hot cheerleader skanks. Not me, no... I was always this handsome... but that kid... Bobby, I think his name was... he took some terrible abuse from those hot chicks. So every time something like this happens, I feel like a little piece of that little guy's dignity is restored. And that's why it's a beautiful thing to me.
It's never good to see a top heavy baby carrot almost take a spill like that though... without me there to catch her when she falls, that is. See, I would catch Jessica literally if she were to stumble and I was there to help her, and I would catch her metaphorically if she were to "stumble" or "fall" in life. Honestly. I'm all romantic like that and sh*t. What can I say, I'm a sweetheart.
Anyway, enjoy Jessica Simpson being top heavy in really high heels and almost falling. By the way, if you get a chance, look at those calves of hers. They're amazing!
