Oh God, Don't Hurt Me!

Oh, whew, it's just Fergie. ... which is still scary, but I thought she was one of those extreme dominatrices who just went a little too far and decided to kill her boyfriend and anyone who suspected her of what she did. ... Maybe I watch too much TV.

The Ferg hasn't been up to much aside from wearing scary outfits and not writing more music. Understandable, though, when you have the hot, blonde Lady Gaga and Ke$ha owning your territory. Here's a tip Ferg: dye your hair blonde and then make crappy music where your voice is autotuned and distorted. I know you did it a little before, but take it to the max, k? This advice is for free, pretty lady.

5.21.10 at 01:56:46 PM