Whatever nutcase decided that Lady Gaga is better than Katy Perry in the cosmic battle of Cool Hipster Female Pop Artists needs to be shot in the face and bludgeoned with one of Lady Gaga's 42-inch platform boots. It's simple really if you look at the math:
Katy Perry wears bright colors, spandex dresses, and gets drunk with her girlfriends and tweets funny photos of herself.
Lady Gaga might have a penis, creates music videos ripe with blasphemy, and she may or may not be the Illuminati Puppet.
The obvious winner here is Russell Brand, who gets to sleep with Katy Perry. Congratulations, Russ, on your colorful hipster girlfriend that you get to do the naughty with. I will forever be seething with rage.
