Why does Salma Hayek keep pulling out her sweater puppies at random Grownups events? Isn't this supposed to be some sort of child-friendly movie that doesn't involve porn star sized breasts? I know she is just standing there and signing autographs, but I feel like I should be contacting the authorities.
I'll stop my whining, though, and I'll soak up the Salma Hayek glory. Sooner or later we're going to discover that she is an ageless alien... and then all of my sexual fantasies will just be ruined.
