Naughty Megan Fox!

Britney Is Too Busy For Phone Calls and Drug Tests

The Britney Spears and Kevin Federline custody dispute continues. Yesterday, the problem in court was Britney's lack of availability for drug tests and phone calls. People magazine reports:

Alleging the singer lives in a "parallel universe," lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan reminded the court that the singer had been reprimanded three times by Commissioner Scott Gordon for failing to be reachable by phone. "Mr. Federline doesn't want to take these children out of their mother's life, but what are we to do?" Kaplan said."

Wow, "parallel universe," was that all Kaplan or did K-Fed help him with that one? If he did, I didn't know K-Fed had that kind of vocabulary. Those are some "big kid" words coming from a scrawny little bitch. Anyway, part of the problem with Britney is that she doesn't show up for drug tests and she can't be reached via telephone. In response, People magazine reports that her lawyer gave the following excuses:

Spears's lawyer, Anne Kiley, called the current drug testing procedure "unconstitutional," adding that just because the singer may fail to respond to testing calls within one hour doesn't mean she's using drugs. Kiley stated that Spears tested clean on 10 occasions. Explaining why Spears frequently changes her phone number, Kiley said the singer's number often falls into the wrong hands"... When Commissioner Gordon stated that responding to a morning call wasn't an extreme request, Kiley shot back: "But you're not a pop star with a No. 1 album to promote."

If by No. 1 album, you mean No. 2 album, then yes. And if by "promoting the album," you mean she's going around being fat getting her picture taken in public all day, then yes. Oh, and none of the lack of availability has anything to do with the possibility that she's avoiding them because she's on drugs or anything. Nope, not at all.

Oh, and if by the "wrong hands," Britney's lawyer is referring to me because of that one time Britney stole a chalupa from me at Taco Bell and I kept calling her all night after that, that's just wrong! Get over it already... I just wanted a damn apology. She can have the chalupa. It wasn't even a nacho cheese chalupa, which is my favorite kind of chalupa, so it's not big deal. It was the principle, dammit!

Here's Britney at a car dealership buying a ridiculously expensive new car in a see-through shirt and a pink bra. Enjoy, kids.