Carrie Prejean is finally admitting that she made a solo sex tape a few years ago. In case you don't know who she is, she was Miss California until they took her crown away in a fit of rage. She says it's because she doesn't support gay marriage, they say it's something else. Who cares. Here's the AP article:

If it wasn't for the sex tape, I never would've even heard of Carrie Prejean, so it's not the biggest mistake of her life. Now she can get her own reality show with two of her sisters and one of them can get pregnant and the other can marry someone from the Lakers and then everyone will be happy.

Lindsay Lohan took a job as artistic advisor, which is kinda like a financial advisor except instead of losing money, they find clothes, for Emanuel Ungaro a few months ago, and it turns out that might not have been a great idea. AFP reports:

As much as I support anyone speaking the truth about Lindsay and her disaster status, maybe he shouldn't have left the company in 2005 if he wanted it to keep its soul. That would be like me selling celebparasite to some company who actually cared if they were right about anything at all. It might get bigger but it would lose its ability to make readers feel better about their own lives. This basement sure is dirty today.

According to TMZ, the guy who allegedly tried to extort David Letterman for millions now wants the case to be dismissed. Mostly because who the hell would want to be on trial for extortion?

I love the defense. It wasn't extortion, it was a pure commercial transaction! And the next time someone is on trial for killing someone else, it wasn't murder. It was purely a population control technique. I swear!

I'm not being insensitive to real retards here, so don't get your panties in a double knot. Anyone under the age of 13 knows that when you make fun of someone, you furiously bang your hand off of you chest and make nonsense sounds. And that's exactly what Kristin Cavallari seems to be doing here as she leaves the salon. Whatever organization out there stands up for the mentally challenged should probably release a statement chastising her. That's what Al Sharpton would do if he was retarded instead of black.

Here's everyone's favorite gypsy Kim Kardashian promoting world peace at a United Nations gathering. Or maybe she's at The New Westfield Culver City mall promoting some useless crap no one needs. That's probably more likely.

For some reason, the media is obsessed with this Levi Johnston clown and I've apparently boarded the gravy train because here I am writing about it, too. The latest in the Palin-Johnston saga is that he will be filing for joint custody of his new, very unfortunate kid. OK! reports:

I wonder if the fact that he's about to pose completely naked in a magazine for gay men has anything to do with their resistance to handing a little kid over to him. Or maybe his all around status as a ridiculous person. Those are just guesses. It could be his haircut.

So it turns out that Britney Spears is under fire by anal people in Australia for lip-syncing the songs on her Circus tour. I can't believe anyone in the world DIDN'T know she lip-syncs everything in concert, but whatever. Anyway, John Mayer tweeted about it:

First he dumps Jennifer Aniston, then he wears that killer batman hoodie, and now he tweets that piece of brilliance. I'm really starting to like this guy. Maybe I'll get a poster of him.