A Psychiatric professional is now saying that Britney Spears is not only a drug-addict by choice, but she was born with a genetic predisposition to become one. Because of her father's history of substance abuse, a family history of mental imbalance, and various other traumas she experienced throughout her life, addiction specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky has dubbed her as "Our new Michael Jackson." Wow, that's some elite company. Michael's like the epitome of screwed up celebrities. Does this mean that Britney's gonna paint herself a different color and gradually shave off the better part of her nose? Sorry... just thinking out loud.
Anyway, with respect to Britney's recent troubles, Dr. Pinsky told Us Magazine the following:
Okay, so Britney's drug addiction was inherited. But what explains her addiction to Frappuccinos and chalupas, Dr. Drew? Oh, that's just because she's fat? Oh, okay. Thanks for your expertise.
Seriously, though, Dr. Pinsky then explained that Britney's problems are most likely a combo of genetic defects and environmental triggers that set her off into an uncontrollable whirlwind of negligence and stupidity. Specifically, he told Us Magazine this:
It's kind of sad when you think about it. At least Michael Jackson went through all that stuff and he's still undeniably one of the best performers to ever live. Britney... well, she's just... eh... chunky. She does make tons of money doing nothing though, which is great for a talentless chick with a slight weight problem. Which leads me to believe, once again, that this whole Britney charade could be a farce! I bet that every night when she goes home, she throws on her bathrobe and her furry Scooby Doo slippers, puts on a nice Lifetime movie, and laughs a sinister laugh over a big tub of Ben and Jerry's repeatedly yelling out FOOLS! I've fooled them all and now I'm showering in dollar bills!!! Muahahaha.
Hey, it's possible. I mean, if she really is like Michael Jackson, it's definitely possible that Britney's whole life is a scheme to make money through publicity. I mean, hell, Michael turned himself white. Following that logic, there's no limit what Britney's capable of!
