BAM! Look at these Jennifer Love Hewitt bikini pictures! I can't believe my eyes!
And by can't believe my eyes, I mean I'm going to pour a gallon of bleach over them so I can get this sight out of my head! You know those girls you meet in college who are smokin' hot at first... then, once the summer comes, you don't hear from them for about 3 months, and when you see them again in September they're not hot anymore, they're just fat. You know that feeling of utter disappointment and despair when you find out that hot little baby carrot you once knew now goes by the name of "Fat Jenny"? Yea, well, that's the feeling I just got when I saw Jennifer's massive behind. The moment you see it, everything becomes still, the Earth presses down heavier upon you than ever before, and all your hopes and dreams of getting with that hot chick you once knew are gone forever... it's horrible.
It's been years since I've really taken a good look at Jennifer Love Hewitt. Sure, she's still pretty in the face, and every time you see her you're under the impression that she's still that same hot baby that you first met back in '97 when she was dating Carson Daly and she still "knew what I did last summer." HA! More like "I don't want to know what you ate over the last 10 years" because her butt is huge! Anyway, it's still Jennifer Love Hewitt and she's been with me since that awkward transitional stage in my life from pre-pubescence to full-blown hairy man, and I will forever keep her in my heart. The only problem is, I don't know if there's enough room in my tiny little heart for her massive behind to fit inside it! Ahh, I think we can make an exception. Anything for sweet little "Fat Jenny"!
