Christina Aguilera Ate Too Much Turkey. And Human Babies.

This might have technically happened before Thanksgiving this year... but I'm still left assuming that Christina Aguilera made her ass this big by eating several, full-grown turkeys. I'm not even mad. I'm impressed.

11.23.12 at 07:46 PM   

Megan Fox ... Post Baby?

In the picture above, you'll notice Megan Fox is looking attractive. What's strange about that? Well, it was two months after she gave birth to her son, Noah. Who knows what witchcraft she used to look this awesome at her screening of "This is 40."

I'm guessing it was just a lot of diet an exercise, but I'm hoping it was a lot of feasting on human cadavers that did the trick...

11.23.12 at 07:36 PM   

Lindsay Lohan's Probation is Going to Get Revoked. Surprise.

Is it a huge surprise that Lindsay Lohan's probation is going to get revoked? Not really. She crashed her Porsche into a tractor trailer... and blamed it on her assistant. Whoops. I'm pretty sure that's not the way to gain the trust of a judge, but I'll have to do some research and get back to you on that.

11.22.12 at 03:45 AM   

Miley Cyrus Keeps Making Terrible Decisions.

We laughed when Miley Cyrus dyed her hair blonde and cut it short. Now that she has buzzed the sides of her head... it's just plain sad. It's not even funny anymore, Miley Cyrus. Stop being crazy. Go be Hannah Montana. Put on your wig. :(

11.22.12 at 03:42 AM   

Be Nice to Mitt Romney

Sigh, the internet is making fun of Mitt Romney today because, well, the internet is full of loud, liberal, insensitive jerks (we all know this to be true). So of course they are making fun of Mitt Romney for ... pumping gas, not having security and... being surprised someone is taking his picture? Yeah. Totally crazy you guys. It's not like he is just a normal guy or anything.

11.20.12 at 10:54 AM   

Christina Aguilera Should Reconsider Her Wardrobe Choices

I'm not going to make fun of Christina Aguilera for gaining weight. From time to time, all of our bodies' change in a way where we might not be too happy with it. BUT, with that being said, don't wear EXTREMELY TIGHT AND UNFLATTERING clothes if you don't have the body for it. Class it up! Adele is a big girl but you don't see the internet hating on her for wearing a flattering, black dress. Accept it Christina, you're not the genie in the bottle you used to be.

11.20.12 at 10:48 AM   

Oh Look - It's David Hassel...WHAT?

I almost don't want to know why David Hasselhoff is splayed across KITT's hood dressed as a(n even sluttier version of) Captain Hook. Some reasonable people say that he is starring in a production of Peter Pan... but I refuse to believe that and I am completely convinced this was just a normal Saturday night for the Hoff.

11.16.12 at 03:39 PM