"I CAN HAZ CHEESBURGER?" - Jessica Simpson.

Jessica Simpson thought she was going to lose major weight after having her baby. She even went so far as to claim she would look like Jessica Alba (HAHAHA). Jessica Simpson has the potential to be hot (she was exceptionally attractive for many years)... but this post-baby Jessica is losing weight slowly. Probably because she keeps eating burgers. According to Radar Online:

"Jessica is losing weight slowly," a friend close to Maxwell Drew Johnson's mom told RadarOnline.com. "She's not trying to drop 10 pounds a week or anything crazy like that. She wants to do it at her own pace and make sure she's healthy."

Jessica hits the gym frequently with celebrity trainer Harley Paternak, and she's a dedicated student, according to the source.

"Her goal right now is to lose one pound a week and Harley's training program is keeping her on that schedule," the friend said.

I hate how stupid everyone in the world is. Losing 10 lbs a week? Yeah, no wonder she isn't doing that since it's pretty damn impossible unless you plan on starving yourself and then later flaying off any extra skin. You need a 500 calorie deficit a day, every day, to lose legitimate pound per week. That means cutting out a rather large meal. So kudos to Jessica for being realistic about her GD weight. It's about time someone was.