Mostly because it makes me feel better to find celebrities in more debt than me, I thought I'd share this story about everyone's second favorite midget right behind Hayden Panettiere, Verne Troyer. TMZ reports:

I know some very well respected science labs that would love to do research on Verne's little body, so he might want to consider that. Although like a bunny going in for open heart surgery, the survival rate is pretty low. But don't midgets all die by the age of 30 anyway? Something for him to consider anyway.

After Conan O'Brien made fun of Levi Johnston by quoting a fake Twitter account, Levi went off the deep-end and his lawyer threatened to sue. Because people who pose naked in Playgirl are always taken seriously. Here's what Conan did last night for an apology:

It's been a while since I've posted pictures of Audrina Patridge because she's always doing the same thing - standing there with her cell phone. But since that happens to be her job, I guess I can't hold that against her. So here's Audrina hard at work. She made $453 during that call...keep up the good work!

Here's Lindsay Lohan on her way to a party the other night with some loser in a suit jacket. There's a general rule of thumb, and that rule is that if you wear a suit jacket to a party, you're a loser. Or maybe I'm just jealous since I still wear Rangler Jeans and one of those shirts with all the muscles imprinted on the front. Kinda sad, but it does make me look pretty tough.

Kate Beckinsale is in a new movie with Robert Dinero appropriately titled "Everybody's Fine" because Kate is really fine. And Dinero isn't so bad either for being like 78 and a guy. I would consider spending a weekend in Vermont with him. But anyway, check out these pictures of Kate and pretend she doesn't smell like cigarettes because she probably does.

Celebrity lawsuits are about as common as me waking up at 2pm and doing nothing for the rest of the day, so it should come as no surprise that the band No Doubt is suing Activision. Here's why according to AP:

Well, this did accomplish one thing. Now I have to go buy the game and see Gwen performing suggestive lyrics. That sounds awesome. Off to the store with mom's credit card I go. Yeah, I'm 27. Don't be jealous.

Someone pull Kanye West out of whichever crackhouse he fell asleep in last night and let him know Beyonce is getting dissed again. She's set to perform in Egypt, but certain groups aren't too happy about that according to AP:

As much as I think Egypt needs to get with the times where women are objects of sex, not slavery, I do think it'd be weird if one of their pop stars was going to perform here and we had to look at huge posters of her dressed like a ninja. I kinda like the Muslim women who cover everything because, let's face it, most people are ugly. If they're covered, it leaves it all to the imagination.