Paris Hilton

The latest news and gossip involving celebrity Paris Hilton.

David Letterman Humiliates Paris Hilton!

And this is why David Letterman is an absolute legend... On Friday night, Paris Hilton was on CBS's The Late Show with David Letterman with the intention of promoting her new fragrance "Can-Can" and her new musical motion-picture Repo! The Genetic Opera. However, all Letterman wanted to talk about was jail... and it was absolutely hilarious. People recaps the interview as they ... [Full Story]

Guess That Celebrity... CROTCH!?

In this installment of "Guess the Celebrity Booty..." and by "booty," I mean CROTCH... we see a crotch that many of us have seen before. But, it's just one of those celebrity crotches that we always enjoy looking at. It's a nice little crotch. And, more importantly, I feel like I have been through a lot with this crotch. I mean, I've seen this crotch both clothed and fully exposed in ... [Full Story]

Even in Sunny California, She Has Her Glass-Cutters Out!

You know, I thought it was just the crisp Canadian climate that made Paris Hilton's Nipples erect, but it turns out that even in SoCal, her nips are just as sensitive. Paris had her glass-cutters out this weekend at Agent Provocateur in Hollywood... so, it looks like Paris' nips may just be permanently erect. Yes, I know, perhaps Paris' nipples aren't the most newsworthy thing in the world ... [Full Story]

Adrian Grenier Admires Paris Hilton's Disease-Ridden Genitalia

Adrian Grenier or just "Vincenzo," as I like to call him, because we're boys and I can say things like that to him, offers deep words of praise for Paris Hilton. When asked to give his thoughts on Paris by E!'s Kristin Veitch, Adrian said this: "I think she’s absolutely wonderful. I really like her, genuinely. So, there’s that. Just genuine human-to-human appreciation. But she also has a very ... [Full Story]

Paris Hilton Looks Like an Old Eastern European Prostitute

If an ostrich, Hillary Clinton, and a Romanian hooker all had sex, they would give birth to Paris Hilton at the 2007 VMAs. Years ago, when I was backpacking through Europe, my train took an unexpected detour through Romania and I ended up stranded in Bucharest with no money. After roaming the streets and searching for food, I stumbled across a few crumbs of dry bread in an alley which ... [Full Story]

Paris and Nicky Hilton Show Some Love on the Dance Floor

Paris Hilton and slightly-less-of-a-skank sister Nicky Hilton were out dancing at PURE nightclub in Vegas Tuesday night. Paris is an incredible dancer. She's like a really tall ostrich that flaps its unusable wings in fits of rage, never fully realizing that she will never fly. Only with a lesbian haircut. That's amazing! I mean, I'm not even mad... that's amazing! A convulsive Paris hit ... [Full Story]

I Would "Bawitdaba" All Over Your Face, Paris... That's Hot!

This weekend, Kid Rock and Paris Hilton were getting to know one another better at the LG house in Malibu. Above, Kid is most certainly showering Paris with compliments on her new lesbian haircut. He always was one sweet little piece of white trash wasn't he? But, does Kid Rock have some sort of ulterior motive, or does he truly and genuinely hope to some day "Bawitdaba" all over her ... [Full Story]

Vinny's Spending Way Too Much Time in Paris

Vinny Chase a.k.a. Adrian Grenier in real-life (who's concerned with real-life anyway?) was seen spending some quality time with Paris at her Malibu beach house yesterday. So, either Adrian finally caved and unintentionally impregnated the young heiress and she's got him by the cohones, or, for some reason unbeknownst to me, he actually enjoys spending time with ex-convicts with shady sexual ... [Full Story]

Become a Skank-In-A-Day With Paris' New Clothing Line

Paris Hilton was doing her best Goldmember impression on Thursday during the much anticipated launch of her new clothing line at the Kitson boutique in L.A. Hey, Paris... how about a Shmoke and a Pancake?.. No?... A Bong and a Blintz?... Still no?.. All right, all right, how about a DONG and a SCHLITZ!? Ahh, that's better! Anyway, Yahoo celebrity news tells us that Paris has been ... [Full Story]

Paris and Adrian Frolic Amongst the Water and Sand

Apparently Adrian Grenier took my advice and mustered up the confidence he was lacking and finally put himself out there. TMZ reports that Adrian was hanging out with Paris Hilton on a Malibu beach yesterday. Adrian went with the shirtless look while Paris threw on an elegant one-piece with some sort of flower print that she undoubtedly stole from the wallpaper of a poor old ... [Full Story]

You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Blog Is About You

Paris, you're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you! Well, technically, at the moment, it is... but that's irrelevant dammit! TMZ reports that Paris and her new dog "Hendrix" were seen at her Malibu home yesterday. They say Paris was... "checking out her own reflection on a glass door about five times in as many minutes." So, like a young mythological ... [Full Story]

Paris Hilton: A New Animal Species

Forget the Serengeti, a new species of animal was recently found in Malibu. This never-before-seen species has the skin of a zebra, the posture of a gazelle, and the face of some sort of undomesticated bird. It's habitat includes lands both by the sea and within the mainland. Such a rare species is most commonly found shopping for hideously over-priced unnecessary items with her skank friends ... [Full Story]