Jessica Alba

The latest news and gossip involving celebrity Jessica Alba.

Jessica Alba is the Coolest Girl I Wish I Knew

Women have it easy. Not eat for a month, get famous and get a sweet tattoo? You are the perfect girl immediately. Sigh. If I was an attractive lady, I would get a tattoo exactly like this. Only it would be of a skeleton riding a dolphin made entirely out of medieval armor. ... [Full Story]

Not Bad for a Pregnant

Usually, pregnant girls disgust me. They get stretch marks, they don\'t care to do their makeup, they are constantly angry and they crave foods in combinations that make me want to puke. Jessica Alba seems to be the only woman in the world who can make it look good: glowing? Check. Ample bosoms? Check. Cute tummy hidden by cute dress? Check. I think I might be in love. Now, if only the \"child ... [Full Story]

Jessica Alba\'s Ex Boyfriend Needs to Let Go

Jessica Alba and her high school boyfriend, Chris Lakkees, broke up shortly after this prom photo was taken. 13 years later, Jessica Alba\'s ex-high school boyfriend is STILL whining about it. According to Chris, the 5 year relationship with Jessica Alba inspired him to create a website designed to prevent unnecessary break-ups (insinuating that their breakup was unnecessary, but seriously ... [Full Story]

Jessica Alba is Lookin Purty Huge

I don\'t have anything against pregnant women. In fact, they can look kind of cute sometimes. But, under no circumstance, should any big preggers be wandering around in a bikini. Jessica Alba, that means you. Do you know just how many porn fetishes you inspired today? DO YOU? ... [Full Story]

Andy Samberg and Lonely Island Strike Again

What do Andy Samberg, Jessica Alba, Blake Lively, Lonely Island and Akon have in common? \"I Just Had Sex!\" The SNL crew created yet another stunning masterpiece of an awesome song about something ludicrous... like Andy Samberg actually being able to have sex with Blake Lively. ... [Full Story]

The Fantastic Four Almost Made Jessica Quit

And can you blame her? The Silver Surfer was a CGI\'d piece of poop. But apparently, the director was also a classic a-hole with no real talent: \"[The director told me] \'It looks too real. It looks too painful. Can you be prettier when you cry? Cry pretty, Jessica.\' He was like, \'Don\'t do that thing with your face. Just make it flat. We can CGI the tears in.\'\" That questionable ... [Full Story]

Jessica Alba Goes See Through

Jessica Alba MIGHT have taken her role in \"The Fantastic Four\" a little too seriously... since she doesn\'t realize that 1.) she isn\'t invisible and 2.) her top is certainly see-through. However, maybe something this intense is a normal, everyday outfit for Jessica Alba: parent teacher conferences, grocery shopping, and tucking the kid into bed all need some see-through shirt. ... [Full Story]

Jessica Alba Gets See Through

Oh Jess. Jess. Jess. Jess. I know you need attention, so you express this need by wearing a see through knit dress to whatever the H she is attending. Honor, (her spawn), don\'t learn from mommy. If you ever want attention from her or Cash, act like a nice little midget person. Don\'t try and run around town naked just to make complete strangers happy. ... [Full Story]

Jessica Alba Needs to be Careful

I\'m not sure how this happens to celebrities - if you\'re standing in a short dress on the top of a tall building, you should be able to guess that everyone on a level lower than you can see your goodies. And when I say goodies I mean your undapants. If you\'re wearing any. ... [Full Story]

Jessica Alba Smiles Her Way Out of a Ticket

Jessica Alba is such a dirty, manipulative freak. Just this week she was pulled over in Los Angeles by a traffic cop for a minor violation... but got away with only a warning. How? Well, it involved some serious... smiling? Law enforcement sources say she was pulled over for speeding this AM in Beverly Hills and during the stop, Alba blamed her lead foot on the nearby paparazzi ... [Full Story]

Jessica Alba is Suspicious

So what part of walking around in combat boots, wearing a dirty-looking wife beater and carrying a large paper sack isn\'t sketchy? I\'ve got half a mind to call the cops over this suspicious activity, even if it IS Jessica Alba. .. ... ESPECIALLY since it\'s Jessica Alba. At least she remembered to be a hot (maybe) terrorist. I\'ll forget about her creepy bag of secrets as long as she keeps ... [Full Story]

Scary and Disturbing is the New Sexy

Maybe I haven\'t mentioned before how I think it\'s kind of awesome when a hot chick is just a little bit terrifying. I think girls feel the same way about guys. Why else would so many hot chicks stay with abusive pricks? They obviously think it\'s awesome and really attractive. Just ask science [citation needed]. Jessica Alba\'s spread for Geniux is a great mixture of goth images, heavy ... [Full Story]