Salma Hayek

The latest news and gossip involving celebrity Salma Hayek.

Salma Hayek Disapproves of Hispanic Michael Cera.

I can\'t be the only one who sees that, right? In other news, Salma Hayek walked around some place yesterday in an undersized blazer. This and her outfit yesterday has confirmed one thing: her breasts are growing out of control, will get so large they will collapse into a singularity and the universe will be destroyed by Salma\'s Boob Black Hole. (Screw you, Higgs-Boson!) ... [Full Story]

The Woman That Refused to Age.

It appears that Salma Hayek is #1 still making movies and #2 hasn\'t aged a day. (Also, #2.5, her breasts are still taking over her body, one jiggly inch at a time). This is making me a bit concerned about the hot women of the hold - Salma has had us by the short hairs for years now... when is another women going to be able to knock her off her throne? I know she is a time lord that doesn\'t ... [Full Story]

Salma Hayek is Going to be Knighted.

Lesson 1: France has knights.Lesson 2: Salma Hayek is going to get knighted. ... and it unfortunately isn\'t an act that you could describe by saying \"she\'ll be knighted till she cries.\" I mean she will literally be knighted. (I disappoint myself.) The President of France, Nicolas Sarkozy, will award Salma Hayek the Legion d\'Honneur. As for why she is getting a French knighthood... I can ... [Full Story]

Salma Hayek Wants You to Watch Puss N Boots

If a woman that even remotely looks like Salma Hayek tells me to do something, I am going to do it. That\'s why I\'m completely set on going to the theater to watch \"Puss N Boots,\" the \"Shrek\" spin-off that Salma was recently promoting. I don\'t care if it\'s good, bad, or animated - my master told me to watch it, and I\'m going to listen. ... [Full Story]

Salma Hayek Still Refuses to Age

It\'s possible that Salma Hayek is actually starting to look younger (and bustier). I think it\'s because she has taken a break from acting to be more of a mom. Technically, she is still acting, but the movies are so non-important that they are barely worth mentioning. Unlike her breasts. ... [Full Story]

Salma Hayek is Still Hot in 2010

Just in case you were wondering: yes, Salma Hayek is still hot. She has defied both age and gravity and still looks a maximum of 30. It honestly and truly isn\'t fair. I\'m both attracted to her and jealous of her. I have a gut bigger than her entire body and I\'m only 23. ... [Full Story]

Salma Hayek Objectifies Herself

Oh Salma. I always thought that objectifying people was WRONG or IMMORAL. But judging by how far up you push your breasts in that leather corset of a jacket, I just realized something important. Women WANT to be objectified. That\'s why it\'s so fun to make them a means to an end... a very happy, \"smoke a cigarette after\" end. So stop whining about feminism or take off all of your makeup, ok? ... [Full Story]

Being a Mom is Sexy

While taking her spawn to Disney Land, Salma Hayek\'s bra overflowed with goodness. You\'d think that when she is around the children she\'d tone down her mammary monsters, but no! She is committed to keeping the boob-fire alive. And for that... we say: Thank you Salma. Thank you. ... Even though you may permanently sexually scar your own children. ... [Full Story]

Why Won\'t She Love Me?

Why does Salma Hayek keep pulling out her sweater puppies at random Grownups events? Isn\'t this supposed to be some sort of child-friendly movie that doesn\'t involve porn star sized breasts? I know she is just standing there and signing autographs, but I feel like I should be contacting the authorities. I\'ll stop my whining, though, and I\'ll soak up the Salma Hayek glory. Sooner or ... [Full Story]

Salma Will ALWAYS Have It

No matter how old mother-aged actress Salma Hayek gets, she will always refuse to be mediocre. Her unbelievably hot body was seen the other day at an event for her new (dumb) movie, The Grownups. Adam Sandler somehow wrangled another MILF into being the female lead in one of his movies. Sandler is obviously working out some self-esteem issues by always having the ZOMG HOT! women hook up ... [Full Story]

Good Things Never Die

Salma Hayek is currently in a heated battle with Kate Beckinsale to earn the title of Hottest MILF Timelord. Both of them refuse to age, still look stunning, and make 50% of the women on Earth feel like big bags of poop. Let\'s face it though, compared to them, they are. ... Sorry mom. The Cannes Film Festival is apparently still happening - and Salma \"Should Realize She Is Too Hot For Her ... [Full Story]

Salma Hayek Refuses to Age

Although she seems like an angel since she is out promoting events for Earth Day (which was yesterday I guess - I didn\'t notice because I was too busy buying bottled water and not recycling), don\'t let the angelic exterior fool you. She is obviously a demon. She hasn\'t aged and I\'m willing to bet my life savings of $43.50 that she WILL not age. So either she is a demon, has a great ... [Full Story]