Scarlett Johansson

The latest news and gossip involving celebrity Scarlett Johansson.

Scarlett Johansson to Debut on Broadway

Because all famous actors think they haven\'t \"done it all\" until they go put on an absurd amount of make up and over-act every line and gesture on Broadway, Scarlett Johansson has decided to go ahead and do just that. Reuters says: Actress Scarlett Johansson will make her Broadway debut starring in a revival of American playwright Arthur Miller\'s drama \"A View from the Bridge,\" the ... [Full Story]

Scarlett Johansson at a Moet and Chandon Event

Here\'s Scarlett Johansson showing off exactly how much wine it would take for her to ever consider hooking up with me in a cheap hotel room. And I think if she wants to be a good promoter for Moet and Chandon, she should do exactly that and film the whole thing. I would never consider showing all of my Internet friends every single day and ultimately selling it for a ton of money. Never ever. ... [Full Story]

Scarlett Johansson Continues to Step it Up

Well it\'s pretty obvious at this point that Scarlett Johansson not only reads this blog but probably wants to leave Ryan Reynolds for a life of bliss with me in my parents\' basement. A few days ago, I mentioned that she looked like a hoodlum and, since then, she has gotten progressively hotter in new photo shoots every day. Nevermind that these were probably taken way weeks ago, just a small ... [Full Story]

Oh Hai

Even though she looks a little bit like she just got off the short bus to go to work at Burger King, this is definitely a major step up for Scarlett Johansson compared to the other day where she looked like a hoodrat. Maybe it has something to do with Germany because that\'s where she was for a Mango Winter campaign. No idea what that is, but she was there and that\'s good enough for me. ... [Full Story]

Scarlett Johansson is a Hoodlum

Here\'s wife and husband, Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds, looking like two bums about ready to commit a crime. Somehow Scarlett manages to never let her face be photographed, but I can\'t say the same for Ryan Reynolds and his new mountain man beard. Next time I see these two looking all sexy in a movie, I\'ll remember these pictures and refuse to get turned on. I have high standards. ... [Full Story]

Scarlett Johansson Out in Manhattan

Scarlett Johansson disguised herself as Dick Tracy\'s retarded little sister yesterday in Manhattan as she set out to go for a walk or do whatever it is she does. There\'s really nothing left to say about this...she seems to be healthy and stuff. Cool. ... [Full Story]

Scarlett Johansson in a Mango Photo Shoot

I really don\'t know what or who Mango is or how they managed to get Scarlett Johansson to agree to such a great photo shoot, but I\'m guessing it involved money and a lot of drugs. That\'s usually how I get what I want...minus the money and a lot of alcohol. Knocks them right out, and they think they had a great time. ... [Full Story]

You Can Meet Scarlett Johansson

It\'s times like this that I wish my dad was an oil tycoon or at least something more than a burger king fry cook because, if I had tons of money, I could actually meet Scarlett Johansson. People explains: Next spring\'s Iron Man 2 premiere will be memorable not only for the stars of the film, but also for two lucky fans – thanks to castmember and Oxfam Ambassador Scarlett ... [Full Story]

Scarlett Johansson at Comic Con

All the geeks and nerds at Comic Con got treated to a nice helping of Scarlett Johansson this past weekend. I wish I was there because seeing Scarlett would\'ve been the most action I\'ve gotten since birth. That sure was wet and the fresh air felt so good. Sometimes I wanna go back but the technology just isn\'t there yet. ... [Full Story]

This is More Like It

After yesterday\'s horribly blurry post below, some nice guy, possibly the only real CelebParasite reader other than my mom, sent in these much clearer versions of Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow in Iron Man 2. Check it out. ... [Full Story]

First (blurry) Look at Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow

Whoever snapped these pictures should probably update his camera phone from 1998 because the quality really sucks. But it\'s good enough to make out what Scarlett Johansson will look like in Iron Man 2 as Black Widow. I was excited til I realized it\'s at least a year away. Back to bed. ... [Full Story]

Scarlett Johansson is Ridiculous for Elle Magazine

With the exception of possibly my head, there isn\'t a body part I wouldn\'t give away to spend 5 minutes with Scarlett Johansson in a room dark enough that she couldn\'t later pick me out of a lineup. Just take a look at these pictures and you\'ll see what I mean. ... [Full Story]